(Closed) Is it wrong to be indecisive?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

honestly, it sounds like you’re being pressured (almost bullied) to pick things out faster than you want to be, and it’s totally more than okay to take your time and research things and figure out what you really want. it sounds like you’re worrying about what other people, especially your dad, think, and while that’s important, it’s also important to put your own foot down and stand up for yourself. 

Post # 4
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i agree with finnaroo! take your time. why the rush to get married may 29, 2010 anyway? i know the date is already set and it might be too late to change though.

someone once gave me this advice about wedding decisions:

“Spend 5 minutes on it and then move on.”

I was like, WTF??? But, it makes sense on some things. Prioritize what’s most important but don’t worry about everything else being perfect.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I think people aren’t treating you very well and you should stand up for yourself.  Yes a $300 gift is very generous but if it only comes with making you feel like crap and not listening to your opinion and desires… it’s not very nice at all.  Parents are prone to this kind of behavor, thinking that you getting what they want is more important than listening – you need to tell your dad when he is pressuring you to “stop. You are making me feel bad, I don’t want to do this” or maybe try to keep him away from wedding tasks. 

There is nothing unreasonable about wanting to see a sample.

Post # 6
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly, I can see why your dad would get frustrated waiting for you to pick out the details of your invitations. To him, they probably all look the same – it’s very hard for most people who aren’t brides to understand why something like an invite even matters. It sounds like he wanted to make you happy but got more than he bargained for. 

I don’t think being indecisive is necessarily “wrong” or “right.” Your life will (hopefully) not be much different if you pick one dress or invitation over another.  So in real life, very few of our decisions actually matter. But obviously many brides spend a ton of time and money on these decisions anyway, because they care about their wedding so much. And as long as you enjoy taking the time to make these decisions, I don’t see anything wrong with it. 

In the future, just don’t involve your dad in these decisions – don’t bring him shopping for wedding stuff or talk about how difficult it is to find the perfect dress/invite/etc. 

Post # 7
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

oh hun do NOT feel bad about being indecisive.  you deserve to have what you want and honestly, if people are grumbling about it then let them!  YOU are the paying customer and if they want your business they need to deal with it.  it sounds to me like you’re not exactly being awful in any way, you just feel pressured, and unfairly.  i am going thru the same issues with my invitations and i’m paying a price for it… having to reorder envelopes and some other things because what i originally had didn’t look the way I wanted.  I am designing my own stationery, and all paper products, and let me tell you there is SO much pressure because it’s even harder to visualize how its all going to look together without anyone to show me.  i def feel like they should have been able to give you a price before you went and spent an hour picking colors, but still, who cares if you took an hour of their time??  you don’t owe them anything, YOU are the paying customer and call the shots.  tell your dad you feel he is pressuring you and he should lay off.  why did he feel worse about “wasting” the stationers time then about making you order something you weren’t sure about?   

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