(Closed) Is it wrong to not invite future SIL on bachelorette trip?

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Should I leave her off the invite list?
    YES! The bride should have the option of who to invite : (9 votes)
    15 %
    NO! She's a BM and future family....she needs to be invited : (52 votes)
    85 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Personally, I think you should invite her. She is part of the bridal party and should have the option of whether or not she would like to attend. It might be the opportunity that you need to get to know her better. You are marrying into this family, so she will be a part of your life for a very long time.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1909 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Sorry you are in this position…if she weren’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man I would have voted differently. But since she is I tend to think that she should be included in your wedding festivities, esp. because your other BMs will be there. Did you see the movie “The Hangover?” They had an incredible bonding experience, ha ha! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Ettitquite says that its basically impossible to do this without being rude especially since she hasnt actively done anything to you. Have you tried hanging out with her before? What was that experience like? Perhaps she may make the decision not to attend if it is not her cup of tea. Charge it to your other bridesmaids to make sure that she has fun….I really think it would be rude not to invite her specifically cause she is in the bridal party ya know

    *hugs*

    Good Luck

    Post # 6
    Member
    1850 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Invite her, but commit yourself to having a good time. It’s not your job to entertain the BMs (if anything it’s quite the opposite) so if she is a Debbie Downer you are in no way responsible for her attitude. She might suprise you, and it will be a good bonding experience for y’all.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I agree with mg1363, invite her- but don’t make it your focus to see if she’s having fun, or even to let her affect you so much…go with the flow, enjoy your closest friends, don’t have high expectations for the SIL and she may surprise you!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    There is nothing that will loosen a person up more than a trip to Vegas. I’m told I had a very good time, last time I went. Wink

    Post # 9
    Member
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have to agree with all the others here on this one. Invite her but do your own thing. You’re marrying into the family, best not to start off on the wrong foot. Maybe you’ll have a bonding experience and become bff’s? Tongue out

    Post # 10
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Honestly if you don’t like her enough to go o your bachelorette trip she shuldn’t be a bridesmaid.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Honestly if you don’t like her enough to go o your bachelorette trip she shuldn’t be a bridesmaid.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    @mg1363: Totally agree!

    If she wasn’t in the bridal party I would say don’t bother inviting her, but since she is I don’t think there’s a way you can get around it without seeming rude.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    If she weren’t a bridesmaid, I’d have voted differently. However, she’s in your wedding party, she’ll be family soon. You’re kind of stuck. Make the best of it – don’t EXPECT her to be terrible or she’ll live up to those expectations.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Well it would look and set a wrong impression if you did not invite her since she is a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I would just suck it up and invite her. It she wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man then it would be a little of a differant mannero

    Post # 14
    Member
    1523 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would definately invite her. I imagine that your maid of honor and other bridesmaids will be setting up most of the plans. I say invite her and if she goes, just have a good time! It is not your responsibility to make sure she is having a good time. Set-up things that will be fun and don’t let her bother you!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think you should invite her but I agree with PPs, make sure you concentrate on having fun. What a great place to get to know her though, I hope you have a fabulous trip! Can someone really be a downer in Vegas? I hope not. Since she is a Bridesmaid or Best Man she should be included in the bachelorette trip but you are the guest of honor, you should be able to have a great time without worrying!

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