(Closed) Is it wrong to possibly set the same wedding date as a friend?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think it’s fine if you two don’t mind not being at each other’s weddings – but, are there mutual friends involved?  If there are – then, I’d say, talk to her about picking alternate dates for the sake of mutual friends.

I went through this with a friend and a lot changed with the dates we thought we wanted – so, don’t worry about it TOO much at this point.

Post # 4
Member
7409 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’d say it depends on guest overlap.  If it is only this particular couple that wouldn’t not be able to attend and you are ok with that (and you don’t want to attend theirs)- then I think it doesn’t matter.  But if there is a possibility of making guests choose which wedding to attend then thats not cool.

Post # 5
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Yeah with mutual friends it gets complicated because then people would have to pick which one of your weddings they would attend. That might lead to a lot of bruised toes. Yikes. Can you or her get married any earlier because I totally understand the want/need to get married asap?

Post # 6
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think it definitely depends on how close you are and if you share many mutual friends. Are you happy not participating in her wedding and vice versa? Are you ok with making mutual friends pick between the two and ultimately choose hers? I don’t think you have an obligation to change your date, but I might do it anyway if either of the two issues I mentioned bothered me. You say there’s a few limited dates available for you guys, so maybe you could pick another one of those?

Post # 7
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

I don’t know if it’s wrong or not, but it is probably a recipe for a bad situation. 🙁

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

do you share the same group of friends?  as she hasnt set her date in stone yet then the selfish part of me says the date is still up for grabs but expect tears and accusations

personally if it was me, if im ready to be married i wouldnt want to wait another year just for a date that suits other people

Post # 9
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

It can get complicated.  That being said, my mom and one of her good friends (and another couple they knew) all got married on the same day.  Different churches, and staggered times.  They were not able to be in each other’s weddings, but their friends only had to get dressed up once.  Keep in mind they were all poor grad students or recent grads and this was in the 60s, so it was a much “simpler” time.

Of course my mom and her friend got pregnant at about the same time too!  Friend’s daughter and I were supposed to be only a week apart.  We’re 18 days apart and I was daughter’s Maid of Honor.  Even though we’re not that close . . . if I didn’t have my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor, I think I would seriously consider having daughter–she’s pretty much like a cousin (many people think we’re related).

Post # 10
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

It can get complicated.  That being said, my mom and one of her good friends (and another couple they knew) all got married on the same day.  Different churches, and staggered times.  They were not able to be in each other’s weddings, but their friends only had to get dressed up once.  Keep in mind they were all poor grad students or recent grads and this was in the 60s, so it was a much “simpler” time.

Of course my mom and her friend got pregnant at about the same time too!  Friend’s daughter and I were supposed to be only a week apart.  We’re 18 days apart and I was daughter’s Maid of Honor.  Even though we’re not that close . . . if I didn’t have my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor, I think I would seriously consider having daughter–she’s pretty much like a cousin (many people think we’re related).

Post # 12
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Definitely depends on guest overlap…. since you’re both so far out, it seems like one or the other of you ought to be able to find an alternative date!

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

pffttt – if youre talking less than 10 people overlapping then i would book whatever date you want and start planning your wedding!

goodluck!

 

Post # 14
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Doesn’t seem like a good thing to me. Thats just something that will drive a wedge between you two that you most likely will never recover from.

Mainataining a good friendsip is more important than getting married as soon as possble.

Someplace else wiil have a more suitable date, it just might take some extra looking, but I would say it is worth it.

Post # 15
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Book it.

I’ve had a friend engaged for a year and a half and they have made NO headway on wedding planning – in fact, they’ve changed their date 9 times.

Your friend hasn’t settled on the date yet and only about 3 people overlapping? Go for it.

Post # 16
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It doesn’t seem like a great idea, but maybe if one of you did Friday and the other Saturday (or Sunday whatevs) that would make it easier on you both so you don’t feel like you’re competing for “THE DAY”. Ya know? I’m not sure if that made sense but you get the idea!

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