Is it wrong to put in my own money towards my engagement ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I considered it.  In the end Fiance got me a ring that he was comfortable with paying for (which I love because he gave it to me not because of it’s size) and I bought him a shiny new engagement TV.

Post # 62
Member
1738 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

livkb :  I don’t think it’s wrong at all, and I actually brought up this idea to my Fiance since I went over-budget and he was beyond offended!! Although we are not traditional at all and we already live together, he has very traditional values when it came to paying for the ring. He was very clear that if I paid for the ring in any way it would take the specialness away from him. That was something he feels that he needs to do on his own. (Sometimes us ladies get caught up in what makes a proposal amazing for us, but it’s also a special time for our guys as well.) But, maybe your guy is different. This is my suggestion: tell your Fiance that you read somewhere that more ladies nowadays are paying for a portion of their engagement rings, and see how he reacts to it. If he is okay with you chipping in, go at it. If not, at least you know where you stand.

Now, to get the best bang for your buck with purchasing a sizeable diamond, I recommend you buy online or buy vintage. But, I recommend going into a local jeweler and trying on rings with different carat sizes first so you can know what you like. Don’t sacrifice on clarity (less than SI), fluorescence, or cut since those tend to be noticeable by the naked eye, but feel free to sacrifice some on color…a couple of shades down the color scale will save big $$ and will look great against rose or yellow gold. Try out James Allen, Ritani, Jewels By Grace (they have beautiful antique loose stones), I Do Now I Don’t, Eragem. And don’t rule out Ebay or local pawn shops. Also choose a shape that faces up large such as brilliant, emerald, oval and marquis.

Congratulations on your upcoming engagement and sparkly!! xoxo

Post # 63
Member
407 posts
Helper bee

I offered to help my Fiance save but he’s traditional and he wanted to pay for it on his own. Ask him! 

Post # 64
Member
1738 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

bellsprout :  OMG! My Fiance wants a new TV instead of a wedding band!! lol

Post # 66
Member
665 posts
Busy bee

bluecutie00 :  love love love the post. Frankly I love antique gems so I should check this out. I wonder how reputable these sites are. Have you tried any?

Post # 67
Member
1738 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

summerrain123 :  I say whatever makes our hubbies happy.  I’M sure he would love knowing that you cared enough to listen to what he really wanted…instead of what tradition dictates. My Fiance did pick out a very nice ring, but decided to wear a fake stand in instead because he hates spending money. Lol. But, I secretly purchased the real ring, sized it, and I will give it to him on our wedding day. If budget allows, I’m also hoping to have one of our friends break into our house during our honeymoon and have his new TV setup and ready to go. Fingers crossed. So excited!!

For the different companies I recommended, all are very well reviewed. But I have no personal experience working with them because I decided that I’m more of a gemstone girl. But, I did extensive research on diamonds first. With our budget, I could have gotten a pretty sizeable diamond, but my favorite color is blue and I just couldn’t resist all of the sapphires calling my name!! Xoxo

Post # 68
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

I guess everyone’s different. I just asked my fiancé who is sitting next to me and he said he would find it emasculating

xo

Post # 69
Member
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

livkb :  yes. i think the man should buy the ring. 

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