(Closed) Is it wrong to register for the bridal shower but not the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
46326 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is fine to do that. If there is no registry, wedding gifts are often cash or cheques.

Post # 4
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That’s what I’m doing – it’s pretty standard with my culture.

Post # 5
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No, it’s fine – but be aware that if you don’t take the registry down, people will use it for the wedding. And they will probably be all like “OH MY GOSH everything on your registry is bought, you need to add more stuff!” I can’t believe how much harrassment I have gotten over the registry (we registered for about 75 things). I appreciate everyone’s generosity, but dude, there’s only so much we can think of to replace.

So, my suggestion, if you don’t want to add a ton, is have the registry private until your shower invites go out and then make it private again right after the shower, and tell people who aren’t invited to the shower that you are very blessed to have everything you need and haven’t registered anywhere.

Man, when people get a whiff of your registry, they seem to really want to buy off of it and to have lots of options and to ask questions about it. Wasn’t anticipating that at all.

Post # 6
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We were wondering about this too!  Thanks for posting!

Post # 7
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@julies1949:  I wish they did that in my circle!  If you don’t register down here you end up with ugly picture frames and useless servingware that doesn’t match anything (they could at least get traditional white or plain glass.)

Post # 8
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Don’t think people register separately for the events. 

Post # 10
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We only registered once. I have never heard of having two registries. People bought of our registry for both the shower and wedding. Most people just gave cash at the wedding though.

Post # 11
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have never heard of registering for your wedding.  Where I come from, when people ask where you are registered at, it’s for the shower.  You put the little cards from the stores you are registered at in the shower invitations. 

Post # 12
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I didn’t know they were supposed tO be separate. In my experience the couple just registers once and the guests can either choose to give a gift from the registry at the bridal shower or at the wedding, or both if they prefer to give a small gift at each event. 

Post # 13
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Ummm, why would you NOT have a registry?  You’re only cheating yourself.  Just make a registry for the bridal shower and then keep it open for the wedding.

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