Post # 1
Is it wrong to send someone an STD and then never follow up with an actual invite? I had this happen to me recently. I received the STD months ago, but the invite never came. The wedding is less than a month away, so I know they’ve all been sent out, plus she’s posted on Facebook about RSVPs several times. Maybe it’s just me, but this is sort of a slap in the face and like saying “hey, we wanted you to remember we’re getting married on this date, but you don’t get to come celebrate with us”
Am I the only one who thinks this is rude? Or is this a common practice I just haven’t ever heard of?
Post # 3
I just replied to your other thread. Did you have a falling out of any sort with the couple? Could it be an oversight?
We mailed our invites 3 weeks ago and FI’s mother just received her’s 2 days ago (and she lives in the same town as where they were mailed from). Maybe your invite got lost?
Post # 4
rude. Def. But- I guess it happens more often, because I see girls post on here sometimes that they have to cut the guest list. This is the sole reason we did not send save the dates (along with saving money and trees)…we just finalized our guest list as we were mailing out our invites.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
The rule is that a STD= you are on the guest list and will be invited. Maybe your invite got lost in the mail?
Post # 6
Very rude, I can’t believe she has the nerve to post on FB about RSVPs, especially when she didn’t invite everyone who got a STD! I would totally comment on it next time she says something.
Post # 7
i didn’t realize I posted this more than once.. the first time it didn’t go through on my end. I have no clue how to delete either lol. I haven’t posted on here much!
As for our relationship… no, it hasn’t changed at all. I was kind of shocked she even asked me for my address for a STD in the first place.. we went to college together, but haven’t talked much since then at all. I was just wondering if I was the only one who found it strange to send one, but not the other. And I doubt it got lost in the mail … but I suppose it’s a possibility.
Post # 8
@siimplycraziie: I would call her or email and say, hey, I noticed you’ve been asking for RSVPs, and I blocked off your wedding day on my calendar after receiving the STD, but I haven’t received an invite. I just wanted to let you know in case it got lost in the mail or something, I didn’t want you to think I was being irresponsible by not responding!
Give her the benefit of the doubt that it was either overlooked or lost in the mail. I got a couple returned Save-The-Date Cards almost a month after I sent them! I would feel awful if that happened with an invitation.
Post # 9
Could have just been a gift grab or her changing her mind. Yes, it’s definitely rude, but there’s not much worth doing in this case.
Post # 10
Theres no harm in asking her.Since u arent that close anyway I dont think it would make that much of a difference in the relationship.If it was misplaced then she will be happy that u asked. And if she did end up not sending one at least u will know and now will not have to worry about giving a gift, etc.
Hope it works out.Let us know how it turns out.
Post # 11
I think if someone takes the plunge to send the STD’s you are basically constricted to invite those people when the time comes. If something unthinkable happens and you have to uninvite someone you really should call and explain…versus just leave them in the dark wondering what they did wrong >.<
Post # 12
The reason for a Save the Date is so you can “save it” to come to the wedding! So yes, it is very rude (and odd?!). Perhaps something happened to the invite?! I would probably ask her, because it’s just weird.
Post # 12
I would just ask her – it is very likely that it could have gotten lost in the mail or she thought she already sent it. My fiancé’s mom received a STD for a wedding and didn’t get her invitation until 3 weeks prior to the wedding.
I wouldn’t take it personally because it could have been overlooked. There were some STD that I sent out and people called and said they never got it, and I never got it returned back to me!
Post # 13
I had my guest list saved in an excel spread sheet on a flash drive. I broke the flash drive and lost everything. I had to start my list all over AFTER I had already sent out STD’s. I hope with all my heart I didnt forget anyone!
Post # 14
I agree that this is rude. But there is the chance that something happned to it.
Post # 14
It sounds like you’re not that close – do you even really want to go?
I’m a huge supporter of not sending an invite after Save-The-Date Cards if something happened that affected the relationship, but in cases where it’s just simply wanting to cut down the guest list or not having the budget, that’s SUPER lame.
I also think it’s totally rude that she’s blasting FB with this kind of stuff. That certainly isn’t the proper venue.