Is it wrong to upgrade my own ER?

posted 9 months ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

How does your fiance feel about it?

Personally I’d wait until after a year or so of marriage to upgrade it. An engagement ring is like a gift, so it might be a bit tacky/hurtful to immediately say that the ring isn’t good enough. It depends on whether you think your fiance will be sensitive to something like that. 

Post # 32
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

I think you should upgrade it and pay for it yourself. He is not the one who has to wear it everyday. I’m personally not overly sentimental about material things or a proposal though so I designed my ring and picked out my diamond. I am team halo ALL THE WAY! I have lots of friends who either already had a solitaire or were thinking about it who now want a halo after seeing mine in person. They feel their’s feels “boring” – I personally agree. But my style is colorful and eclectic so a solitaire wouldn’t represent me at all. I do not have “classic” style and find “classic” things boring. Get a ring that reflects your style and is what YOU want. Here’s my ring 🙂

Post # 34
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Just upgraded mine… again…LOL– I didn’t expect my spouse to pay at all because I already had an Ering that I love (sapphire) which my spouse and I paid for together, but my spouse did chip in on the newest ring… even though I would have been just as happy to pay for it myself, I see it as this…. You will be the one wearing it, you have to be happy with it, our tastes change, wear what you love! My spouse is NOT into jewelry at all so no feelings were hurt, I guess I would just kinda have a convo with your spouse to make sure you won’t hurt any feelings.

Heres my new babe (even got a new band to go with it!)

 

Post # 35
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

View original reply
@Missmelissal001:  Thanks so much! I’m actually not positive of the mm, that’s a good question! The center stone is a 2 carat lab diamond on a size 8 finger. The halo adds a lot of bling and makes me feel like I will always be happy with the size 🙂

Post # 36
Member
2043 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re not the people to ask – it doesn’t really matter what we think.  If your fiance is happy for you to do this, then go ahead.

Personally, I think your e-ring is stunning just as it is, but if you’re not happy, then have the conversation about changing it. I agree with PPs to make it a casual one.

Post # 37
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

View original reply
@Missmelissal001:  Firat your ring is gorgeous!! @Missmelissal001:  Nothing wrong with upgrading the ring yourself.  If there is a way you can position it and let him now that the halo is significant to you or holds some symbolic meaning such as the halo representing completeness or eternity it may soften the blow.  For some reasons halos seem to represent eternity to me. 

Post # 40
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

I live halo or solitaire. What about pairing it with a eternity band and/or a couple staving bands??

Post # 41
Member
2060 posts
Buzzing bee

Based on everything you have posted, I would hold off for now. 

From one of your updates, you say you had also considered a 1.5 carat stone but changed your mind before receiving this ring. And now you’re considering a halo after going ring shopping for someone else with a friend but you’re unsure.

I don’t know how long you have had your ring but it doesn’t sound like you’ve had it for very long from your OP. I would leave the ring as it is and see how you feel about it after awhile.

You don’t sound like you’re sure of what you want so that is why I would hold off. You originally wanted a bigger center stone but now you want a halo. 

I would think about it for awhile and I wouldn’t make any changes until you’re sure you know what you want.

You don’t want to fall down the slippery slope of making changes to a new ring and then finding that you’re still unhappy with it and then you throw more money into it to make more changes. 

You could also get an entirely new engagement ring for a significant wedding anniversary like your 5 year anniversary or something and keep your original. That may be the best of both worlds if you like both halos and solitaires and can’t decide

Post # 44
Member
21 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@Missmelissal001:  why don’t you buy a cheapie silver /cz halo style ring and wear that for a few weeks to see which you do actually prefer in person / wearing 🤔 

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