Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
I had a miscarriage (first pregnancy) in January and had a D&C. Waited for AF to return 6 weeks later, and then my cycles have been regular since then. I have been temping and checking CM, and using OPKs on top of that, so I am pretty confident that I have ovulated each of the four cycles that have passed since and that we have timed BD accurately. From what I have read, 4 months is really enough time to wait to conceive before getting help if you are over 35, which I am, even though I know doctors generically throw out 6 months, which my OB for my original pregnancy did. Before the miscarriage, we were NTNP for about 8 months, maybe longer, and I know our timing was not good because we were simply not BD enough, so I did not particularly worry and then we got pregnant so I assumed getting pregnant again would not be an issue for us. In the past 4 months of normal cycles post-MC, we’ve tried everything, including SMEP, robitussin, and PreSeed at some point (though not all of those things the entire time). Prior to the MC, I did not track ovulation, so its hard to tell how long it took or confirm that I was ovulating during that time. I had regular cycles except for one time when I probably did not ovulate and had to get on Provera to kickstart my period. Since the MC, normal seeming cycles. I guess what I am wondering now is, after doing some research, it does not seem like there are a ton of treatment options available for people for whom ovulation and timing isn’t the issue. I can tell that I am ovulating and that we’ve had perfect or great timing. I’ve read up on IUI, but the success rates seem to be the same as or less than natural conception. Is IVF the only viable option? My insurance does not cover it so we would need to pay for it out of pocket which is of course far from ideal. I don’t think we could afford to do more than a couple of cycles and even if we could stretch beyond that, it seems like it would be a bad financial decision for us. I am going to make an appointment with an RE today, so that appointment will hopefully be something that will happen in the next couple of months.
Sorry just realized my chronology of my post is a little unclear. TLDR, were NTNP before the MC and have been actively TTC with charting since the MC.
Post # 2
It really all depends on what the issue is, if there is one. There are MANY things to try before getting to IVF.
Also 4 months of trying isn’t that long, even over 35 (I had my kids at 39 and 41). Even with perfect timing, there’s only a 20% chance of conception. So yes, see and RE and see if there’s an issue, but in your situation, I wouldn’t stress just yet
Post # 3
if you’ve successfully gotten pregnant once, i really think it’s likely you just need to be patient and keep trying. It took us 8-9 months of perfect timing to conceive my daughter, and then 3 months, a CP, and then another 2 months to conceive my current pregnancy. All with great timing and normal ovulation. I’d start asking maybe 6-8 months of trying after your MC if no luck by then.
Post # 4
Honestly, I know it’s tempting, but don’t go down the Google rabbit hole. If you meet with an RE, they will be able to better describe your options to you. As someone else said, even for over 35, 6 months isn’t long in the grand scheme of things. It seems long when you desperately want that baby, but even with perfect timing and nothing wrong, there’s only a 20-30% chance of conceiving any given cycle. It took my husband and I 9 months to conceive.
The RE will have suggestions for you. Don’t jump right to IVF.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Your husband should get a SA. It’s cheap and simple. If you’re ovulating and have had good timing maybe it’s an issue on his end (50% of the time).
4 months really isn’t that long even though I know it feels like forever.
Most doctors won’t jump straight to IVF.
Post # 6
You got pregnant once before so I don’t think jumping to IVF is the next step. IVF is more for couples who can’t conceive at all (for example I’m 35 and we’ve been trying for over a year with not even a CP and we are now doing IVF and already had one failed round – – we have MFI issues and possible egg issues). Why don’t you schedule an appointment with a RE and see what they suggest?
Post # 7
As PPs have said, the fact you have gotten pregnant, I would not immediately jump into IVF. Also, 4 months still isn’t very long to be trying even though you are over 35.
There are other things you can do prior to IVF though included timed intercourse which is monitored by your doctor, Clomid cycles, and IUIs. I would look into these options, especially since you have been pregnant before, before looking into IVF.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
Hi everyone, thanks so much for the quick replies on this! I am at work but will respond more fully later. I really appreciate the perspectives and encouragement. Since my temp dropped dramatically this morning and AF is due today or tomorrow I am very much in the mood of wanting to do something proactive so I feel like I am at least going in the right direction.
Post # 9
I know you want to do something more proactive, but please remember, some doctors just won’t because it’s perfectly normal for a couple to take a year to get pregnant. My husband is on anxiety meds that have several sexual side effects. The few studies out also say SSRIs can affect sperm morphology and motility,yet we conceived on our 9th cycle. His doctor refused to do an SA that whole time and my doctors told me I needed to wait a year for any testing, as well.
Post # 10
4 months is a totally normal time to try, have perfect timing, and not get pregnant. It can take perfectly healthy people a year to get pregnant. Anecdotally, it took us 5 perfectly timed cycles to get pregnant with my daughter (I was 34, my husband was 39). There’s no reason to jump to IVF after 4 months PARTICULARLY when you’ve already got pregnant once.
Post # 11
Normal couples having unprotected sex will take 10-12 months to get pregnant. You were ntnp for 8 months and you got pregnant, so you fall into the normal category. The clock resets after a pregnancy, so there are really good chances you’ll be pregnant again in the next 4-6 months. Rushing into an obgyn at 4 cycles after MC is really rash based on your history. Around here no obgyn would see you until you are 12 months of trying!
We are about to start ivf but we have had good timed intercourse for 24 cycles and never had a bfp.
There is another bee on here that went to see an RE at exactly 6 months at 35, was diagnosed as “unexplained” and immediately fell pregnant the next cycle. She was not infertile, just impatient.
Post # 12
I was successful with IUI, and think its a great option if you already ovulate. With that said, the amount of cycles you’ve been trying, and the fact that you did get pregnant in one of them, leads me to believe intervention would be quite premature at this stage. I know the waiting game is hard, but the infertility journey is not to be taken lightly. I’d give it a few more tries before beginning the process. Good luck bee.
Post # 13
It seems you are letting the intense bubble that is TTC warp your sense of perspective. It happens to many people. I would take in all the advice above and make steps to gain the perspective back.
Post # 14
Based on your post history, I agree with littlebuzz :
You seem extremely intense about TTC… and I don’t totally blame you.
Nonetheless, I completely understand how hard it is to have a miscarriage and then to go several months without getting pregnant, but you need to gain some perspective on all of this. People usually struggle for many years before considering IVF. Right now, your perspective is causing you to go to extremes before ever even talking to a doctor.
Give it some time and seek medical help if you continue to struggle. But don’t count yourself out yet!
Post # 15
Have you thought about doing some reading about fertility and reproduction and trying a more natural approach like taking supplements or up changing your diet and exercise?