(Closed) Is kissing someone when you’re in a relationship, when you’re drunk, cheating?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
9873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

being drunk doesn’t change anything! you CHEATED on your SO! I don’t understand why you posted this if you’re wanting supportive comments? most people aren’t going to be supportive of cheating. whether you tell him or told him, doesn’t change the fact that it is cheating, even if they know about it it is still cheating, but not telling him just makes it worse. 

Post # 18
Member
9873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

you may not have any intention of leaving your boyfriend, but be aware that he may decide to leave you. you have feelings for someone else, you kissed that person, you’re making excuses for the inexcusable behaviour. everyone deserves someone they can trust. perhaps take some time by yourself, work on yourself and who you want to be, and decide what you really want. i hope it all works out and either you work things out with your SO or you find someone you treat better and with respect

Post # 19
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

If you have to ask you probably know the answer. Yes, it’s cheating, alcohol or no alcohol.

Post # 21
Member
9873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

we understand that everyone makes mistakes, but this is not just a little mistake, but i think talking to your SO about it is a good idea, clear the air, hopefully you can work through it together ๐Ÿ™‚ perhaps it is a good idea in future to avoid situations where you would see your crush, just to avoid the same mistake again. sorry about my reaction, i am just very very against cheating. i hope it all works out

Post # 22
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We aren’t telling you you are a bad person, but we are just telling you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear, don’t take it personally ๐Ÿ™  Saying its ok just forget about it isn’t going to solve the problem and yes mistakes happen but they need to be faced and talked about, and then learned from.  Otherwise you will be doomed to repeat them ๐Ÿ™

Post # 23
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

You’re not a bad person, but where you said that you have no plans to leave your boyfriend, that’s not really your choice. You cheated. You should tell him. Then let him decide what’s the status of your relationship. You shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat on this one.

Post # 25
Member
9873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

keep us updated ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

There isn’t a question about it…. You cheated. You need to “man-up” and tell your SO. Sorry but there is no sugar coating this one. 

Post # 27
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@Peachcream:  I’m sorry you don’t like the answers you’re hearing, but we keep it real around here.

You asked if you’d cheated, and we told you our honest opinions.  Nobody called you evil; doing a bad thing is not the same thing as being a bad person.  

 

We can’t help our attraction to others sometimes, but we can help how we deal with that attraction.  We all make mistakes, but those mistakes are easier to deal with if we’re the only one who suffers the consequences.  With cheating, the SO suffers the consequences, too.  One of my parents cheated when they were married.  All of us went through pain and betrayal over it, just because one of them behaved selfishly.  I’m glad to hear you’re remorseful, though.

Post # 28
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Don’t tell your SO about it !   If you are without a doubt sure that it will never happen again and really have no intention of leaving your SO  then keep it to yourself.  It’s bad that it happened but nothing good will come of you telling him.  Even if he forgives you , he will always think of what you did and that it can and will probably happen again.    Does he need that in his life ?   Prob not.

Post # 29
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I thought about this for a while and I think She SHOULD tell him.  Mostly because she has feelings for the other guy, and it’s not like she will never ever ever ever see him again.

Also, if you need attention that badly,  you might want to reconsider your relationship with your boyfriend. Some people just can’t hack a LDR, no judgement it happens. 

I know I called it off with a LDR BF when I went to college, I started haveing “crushes” on my guy friends, really anyone who acted like they gave a damn about me. I never kissed any of them, never slept with any of them but I knew in my heart that if I was having “feelings” for other people there was something wrong.

 

Post # 30
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, yeah people stuff up and make mistakes.  But the fact that you said that you have no intention of tellng your SO tells me that you’re not so concerned with what you did, you just are concnered about being found out.

I don’t agree with that attitude.

AND I HAVE CHEATED IN THE PAST, once, on my ex.  I cheated while away with work, and I told him immediatly when I came home and saw him, ie the next day.  I could not hold it in, I was bursting with remorse and grief.  We dealt with it, and moved on. just over a year later we broke up.  We thought we put it behind us, but never it, it eroded our relationship away to nothing.

Now I am happy, and don’t need to look at another man to get the attention I was craving back then.

So believe me, you need to talk to your SO about it, because he will find out.  They always do.

Post # 31
Member
810 posts
Busy bee

I can see why it happened – your BF is away, you’re lonely but I’m afraid I would still count it as cheating, sorry. I know you wanted words of support and I’m not sure I have any for which I am sorry.

I guess all I can say is that at least it was just a kiss and at least you realised that you do want to stay with your BF before you had an affair (NOT THAT YOU WOULD HAVE – you were drunk)

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