Post # 107
Agree with Kat Duncan.
Let me put it this way. My ex-fiance did the same thing to me while we were in LDR and it hurt A LOT. Alcohol does not make it OK, mostly because you did it more than once. It also did escalate to sex in his case, but that wasn’t the thing that hurt me most. It was that he had a crush on another woman that he kept spending time with while drunk, putting himself in such a position and acting on his impulses. I dumped him for having the same mindset as you, because it wasn’t an accident, he was completely disrespecting me and he didn’t feel bad about it.
Post # 108
Maybe you should consider getting into a more progressive and open relationship with someone who wouldn’t mind this type of thing.
Most the people you are surveying are in monogamous relationships ,and have commited or will be soon commiting to being faithful so the reaction will be slightly harsh.
Best of luck! I reccomend honesty above all.
Post # 110
Not to add gasoline to the fire here, but…I did go through and read some of your prior posts. It sounds like you were already having issues in the relationship with him being gone so much, especially since you are more focused on having a family unit instead doing your own independent thing. I’m sure your SO is a great guy, but I think you need to consider if you are really ready for the type of army wife life you will have. Marriage will not change him being gone for months on end. You need to be strong enough to remain faithful to your SO, and only you can determine if this is really something you can do, or want to do.
Regardless of what you think about your ability to be in this relationship, you also need to be honest with your SO. There are two equal people in this relationship, and you need to give him an opportunity to know what he is getting himself into and see if he wants to forgive you or not. You OWE him that much. You are not a horrible person, and I don’t believe anyone has the right to judge you except your SO. Good luck with this mess….
Post # 111
@Mrs.Argentina, she hasn’t said that she wants to cheat again,
“Maybe you should consider getting into a more progressive and open relationship with someone who wouldn’t mind this type of thing.”
Is a quite snarky remark and irrelevant remark
Post # 112
I’m sorry, and I will openly retract that statement! I think what I’m trying to say is comming across wrong (obviously). I just got the sense that she didn’t see it as a big deal, so there are other people who don’t think that is a big deal. I also did not read through the drama, so I was going off the title alone.
Apologies OP and anyone offended!
Post # 113
Yes, it’s absolutely a betrayal and cheating.
Post # 114
@Peachcream: Yes, totally cheating. And use of the term “retards” is totally a pejorative. Neither is cool.
Post # 115
At the end of the day it’s your relationship. You know your SO better than anyone on this board and only you know how it would make him feel. You sound quite young still and sometimes these things need to happen to teach us what is important in life. I was in a LDR for a long time and we both at different times kissed other people whilst drunk. in the end it didn’t work out, as we had actually hurt each other quite a lot over time. However, he is and always will be a very close friend. So in the end I don’t regret what i did at all.
I have also been on the recieving end of some full on cheating from my SO, he absolutely trampled on my heart and his own with his own stupidity but whilst the previous relationship never really worked again once we had betrayed each other this one is stronger than ever. I know my friends still think I am mad but at the end of the day its not their relationship.
I guess what I am saying is only you really know whether or not your relationship can survive this, but if you think it can’t then maybe it’s not the realtionship you were meant to spend forever in!
I hope whatever happens that things turn out okay in the end.
Post # 118
I didn’t read all the posts (mostly because I saw a lot of comments on this page about the snark and nasty posts)…so to answer your question, yes I think it’s cheating. Whether or not you were drunk, I think you owe it to your SO to come clean and tell him what happened. If not, think of how bad it could be if it actually comes out in a few months or years… he’ll wonder why you weren’t up front with him, and the hurt will be that much worse.
I’m sorry you’re going through this; alcohol makes people do bad things sometimes. I hope you’re able to fix everything!
Post # 119
Yes it’s cheaating and please don’t use alcohol as an excuse. You did it because you wanted to do it. If you love and respect your fiance, you should tell him immediately.
Post # 121
I’m not going to judge and make you feel bad (I think you already feel that without anyone else’s help). I’m also not going to tell you what choice to make (to tell or not to tell). Regardless of what anyone else thinks you should do, you know the people involved and how they might react. What I will advise is just be certain that the ‘not’ telling your Boyfriend or Best Friend will be better in the long run than telling him.
6 months apart can’t be easy. I really hope it works out for you, either way.