(Closed) Is living together a sin?

posted 5 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@vanessa7:  I’m really surprised that your families are so vehemently opposed!

You’re not sleeping together, or putting yourselves at risk by making out/fooling around!

I would talk to your Priest. His opinion is really the only one that matters! If he’s okay with the situation, I say it’s fine! But maybe you guys could consider a roommate/chaperone? Someone to make it less “living together” and more “living in a group”?

Post # 4
847 posts
Busy bee

I’ve gone to church since birth, and read my bible cover to cover. The bible says nothing about living together before marriage. It talks a lot about sexual immorality, whatever your definition of that may be, you’d at least have to be having sex for those verses to apply.

You know, and God knows, that you aren’t sleeping together and that you’re sleeping in separate rooms. It’s none of your MOH’s business if it makes other people uncomfortable under the assumption that you may be fooling around. At the end of the day their opinion doesn’t matter.

Post # 5
251 posts
Helper bee

@vanessa7:  You answered your own question. According to the Catholic Church, yes, living together is a sin because it gives the appearance of sin. Do you really feel like the members of your church or your parents would think you’re sleeping together if you didn’t live in the same house? I really don’t think they would just automatically assume you are because you’re dating. However, if/when people find out you live together, many people automatically think you are because of the living situation.


With that said, I do not think it is a bad thing to live together. I don’t even think it is a bad thing to have pre-marital sex. I don’t know anyone who lived together before marriage who were thinking “hey lets test drive our marriage before we get married” or who thought “Well, if living together doesn’t work out, I have an escape route that doesn’t require legal action.” That train of thought usually comes from people putting their thoughts in to the minds of others.

Personally I feel like you can only do what is best for you and your relationship. Is it a sin to tell a lie if you’re not aware of the lie you’ve told? Do you feel that you are being true to your faith and beliefs despite what others might say?

@beeintraining:  The Bible doesn’t say living together before marriage is a sin, but it DOES say do not give the appearance of sin, and therefore, living together would give the appearance of having pre-marital sex.

Post # 7
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@vanessa7:  It sounds like your Maid/Matron of Honor means well.  Certainly, you want to consider the scandal caused.  In fact, I’ve advised people in the same way your Maid/Matron of Honor has advised you.    Sometimes you just hear cohabitation condemned so much, its like that in itself is the sin.

I was actually very surprised by the advise I got from a priest in the confessional.  He was very outspoken against living together prior to marriage in the marriage prep stuff, but when I discussed specific situations with him in the confessional, he acknowledged situations aren’t always as straight forward as simply following the arbitary rule of not living together.

My advise would be to seek council from your priest both in what the appropriate action is for your situation and in dealing with your Maid/Matron of Honor.  If you an improve the situation in some way, you probably should, but in our modern lives, the options of generations past aren’t always the options we have today.




Post # 8
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@vanessa7:  Just remember that it is between you and God.  Everyone travels their own path.  My husband and I didn’t live together prior to our wedding but we did sleep together.

Post # 9
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@vanessa7:  The reason it is frowned upon is because the temptation bar is raised SO much higher! If you can honestly say that you can control yourselves then there is no problem!

Post # 10
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am Catholic too, and I live with my Fiance.  There is one thing I know about my church, and my faith;  God forgives.  Avoiding sin is a good thing, don’t be mistaken about it.  But it is not my job, or your MOH’s job, or your parent’s job to judge if you are sinning, or that you have sinned.  There is only one being with that power and that is God. 

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