- 5 years ago
My very first post, so bare with me please!! lol
I have been in my LDR for about 2.5 years now and I am struggling to cope, im not sure if its be or my bf. We have many issues that just does not seem to go away and im tired and feel like this is heading for doom and I should just get out while i’m still young, I dont want to waste anymore time if it isnt going anywhere even though I know i’ll be VERY hurt with a break up.
I met my guy online a few years back. Our whits connected instantly and not long afte we started phone calls and met 3 months after talking. I say its a LDR but we only live 3 hours away from each other via train, but see each other once a month. The very thing that attracted me to him makes me want to stangle him. He is VERY VERY organised and when it comes to us meeting he plans the whole event from top to bottom all i do is turn up.He books the hotels the apartments does all the talking on the phone and sorts things out if they go wrong, he loves doing all this and even when i say i’ll do it this time he never lets me, he feels good doing all this and i never let him feel like i dont appreciate anything that he does.The thing is nothing is spontaneous. I can never say to him what you doing tomorrow shall i come to london for the day? he will think of 1000 reasons why we should ‘plan’ it properly so we get the most out of our meetings and i’ll just be wasting money. Im very open and wear my heart on my sleeves so all of my feels i have verbalised to him already so im not telling you guys anything ive not told him. He is just hard work at times. When we are apart it always seems like our relationship is gonna end any minute, its really strained. when we are together we both just make the most of the time we have so never really talk about any problems that arise when we are apart.
Right now as it stands im more or less ready for marriage, im ready to take that next step with him, im ready to move in with him, im ready for the distace to end. He on the other hand, i dont even know what he wants. He says hes not cohabbiting with anyone until marriage, so there goes moving in with him, he saysa im very negative and all i do is look for the negatives in the relationship, which at times hurts me alot to hear because all im thinking about is this relationship and where its going if anywhere at all. This guy goes above and beyond to make our meetings special, but when we are apart he seems to think he doesnt need to do anything apart from look forward to the next time we meet.
my 25th birthday is next month and yesterday he sent me a message saying i should just have my party and we’ll celebrate my birthday another time with him. this totally flipped me off because i was really excited about havnig a get togetehr for my birhtday so that he can meet all my friends and family and get to know people in my life because hes never met any of my friends and only met my mum. He is the kind of person that always thinks hes right and doesnt think he does anything wrong. I totally flipped at him and told him everything is off and thanks a bunch for cancelling on me. So as it stands i am not doing anything for my birthday and he replied saying well its my own fault and if i decide i dont want to do anythign thats my decision. He is a very harsh person and never really apologises for anything and right now i dont see this going anywhere as much as it hurts me to say that.
is this relationship reaching its end??
sorry for the long post