(Closed) Is Love a Fate or Human Action….

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

To answer the question in your title, I don’t believe in fate or soulmates or anything like that. Love is not supernatural, it’s what your parternship makes it, you make someone special by choosing them.

Not everyone who is special is special forever. Someone else can be come special. There’s no such thing as the one, just “the one you chose out of the many ones that would have been fine.” I advise being proactive, not reactive, don’t live like you’re waiting for your prince. Choose one. 

Post # 4
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t really think any of these questions have much to do with one another. Of course love is a human action – the initial feelings of puppy love will always fade, and you have to continue to put forth the effort and love into your relationship every day if you want it to succeed and to keep your connection strong. Like @Bebealways:, I don’t really believe in fate or the one or any of that – yes, of course I love my husband so much, but I certainly don’t think I would never love anyone or be doomed to a life of unhappiness if we’d never met.

As far as your question about being torn apart goes – no, if something truly managed to tear you apart I don’t think it will make your relationship stronger. Learnign to work through issues and communicate effectively will make you stronger. Breaking up and getting back together will just make the relationship more unstable, in my opinion, because you’re not really learning to deal with your issues.

And your last question is pretty impossible to answer, because everyone has their own definition of unforgiveable. I’ll assume you mean something along the lines of cheating. And no, I would not forgive that. I’d find someone who actually appreciates me and wants me in his life, especialy if we weren’t even married yet.


And I have to ask…is this still all about wanting your ex back? I worry that you’re obsessing voer this to a pretty unhealthy level, OP =/

Post # 5
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

My marriage is my choice. Everyday I choose to put effort into it and make it the amazing love story that it is Laughing

I don’t believe in soul mates or fate. Whatever you and your partner put in is what you’ll get out. 


Post # 6
3111 posts
Sugar bee

Define ‘Unforgiveable’.  No, I did not forgive the ‘unforgiveable’ because I respected myself and have children to think about.  When I think of ‘unforgiveable’, I assume you mean infidelity and/or abuse of some kind.  Rarely does it happen only once.  Rarely does it not affect the children.  Of course, depends on circumstances.  Sure, I try to forgive all things but it does not mean I have to stay with you. So I guess for me I would say, I have forgiven the unforgiveable but not to the point where I stuck around. Forgiveness was for my benefit.

Post # 7
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I believe in soulmates because I believe in reincarnation. However soulmates are NOT what most people assume they are – the one you are “destined” for. People tend to incarnate in groups – these people are your soulmates. A friend in this lifetime could have been a sister in the last, etc.

I think sometimes we are attracted to someone we may have known in a previous lifetime. However I do NOT believe that there is only one mate we are destined for.

Post # 8
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@jmistyrain:  OP, based on your last post and your questions here, I really feel that you have not moved on from your past relationship as a PP suggested. 


Look, I know how hard it is, to think that you’ve found the one, and even when bad things happen, you believe that the struggle will only make your relationship stronger, that you can’t give up, blah blah blah. The truth is, real love and true committed relationships shouldn’t be like that. Yes, marriage is work and every couple will have their ups and downs and really hard times, but your relationship with your ex sounds toxic and like it just was not meant to last. Most people have relationships with multiple people before finding “the one” and this guy sounds like he was only your first serious boyfriend. 


OP, you are only hurting yourself by continuing to belief that fate will bring you and this guy back together. It’s not reality and it’s not healthy. You need to really truly tell yourself and accept that you guys will never get back together until you actually accept it. It’s been a year and you shouldn’t still be holding onto this much hope. It sounds obsessive and I do hope that you will talk to someone if you need help getting over these feelings. 

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