(Closed) Is marriage everything that you wanted it to be?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It isn’t really what I expected and the stress of going to school, working full time and being on a tight budget has made it difficult but we are working on it.  I think that part of the divorce rate being so high has to do with the throw away nature of our society.  Some people would rather buy a new car than fix their old one (draw your own conclusions on that one).

Post # 4
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception

Mr. P and I dated for 7 years before tying the knot, so I really knew what I was getting into.  I think that the most surprising thing about getting married is the fact that nothing really changes – you enter into marriage thinking that it will be this life altering event, but it really isn’t!  I expected to feel more like an adult after we got married, but we are still just irresponsible kids in my eyes πŸ˜›

Post # 5
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

So far, so good!

I’m only going on about 6 weeks here, but, seriously, being married to him is everything I ever wanted and more. 

Post # 6
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’ve been married over four months now and my marriage is everything I wanted and more!  However, I will say this: I was married at the age of 31 and my husband was 34 at the time of our wedding. Both of us had our wild time in our 20’s before we met one another, so I didn’t feel like I had missed out on anything when I got married.  We lived together for almost two years before we got married, so there wasn’t much of a change–just that we were finally legally bound!

Post # 7
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

My story is so similar to misslene above.

We were together and lived together a few years and wer’re in our early 30’s. Nothing has felt any different. We are still the happy couple were were pre-marriage, but it is so nice to know he is my husband. πŸ™‚

 

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Marriage has been everything I thought it would be and more.  My husband and I were just talking the other day about how knowing that we are husband and wife and that this is forever makes us both feel so much closer to each other. 

Yes, we still have all the same day-to-day issues, but neither of us ever has to deal with anything alone anymore.  Now I know that no matter what comes up, I will have the love and support of my husband to help me deal with it.

 

Post # 9
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I love every single second of marriage. I couldn’t be happier and neither could he. Yeah, it’s been a really short time, but we both know that we’ve got each other no matter what and we strive to maintain that through communication.

Post # 10
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I dated my husband for 7 years or so before getting married (we did not live together until we after we were engaged for a few months).  And now we’ve been married for about a year and a half and are expecting our first child this winter.  Married life suits us both quite well.  I’d even say that marriage has been even more than what I had expected.  The day to day living is not all that surprising and sometimes not that exciting, but on a relationship level I feel even more connected to this person I’ve loved for so many years–my husband is now truly my family.  I was 28 when I got engaged and I’m 31 and pregnant now, so there has been a lot of growing up and changes to bond over together.  I think I was absolutely at the right age and stage in my life to get engaged/married and I don’t at all regret I didn’t date anyone else. 

Post # 11
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think as long as you marry the right person at the right time for the right reasons then marriage only enhances your relationship. I see a lot of brides who clearly just wanted a wedding then are kind of shocked afterwards that it’s just the two of them. And those relationships either have serious problems or end in divorce.

For me personally marriage has been everything I expected it to be and more. It’s only been 3 months, but honestly nothing has changed and we had the unexpected pleasure of no more wedding planning stress. There are so many upsides to us being married, we are both so much happier with our status and excited for the future. But I should add that Darling Husband and I are experts at working out problems which I think is extremely rare/very uncommon in most relationships.

Post # 12
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

The whole freakishly high divorce rate blows my mind. For us marriage is definitely great. We were together for a little over 6 years when we got married and we absolutely love it. We both go to school full time, I work too since he can’t because he is a medical student and we all know they have no lives lol. We worked hard and bought our first home… we have the stress of bills for sure (we pay a lot more money for our health insurance than we even do for our mortgage bc of DH’s type 1 diabetes), but we work through it and we get through it together. So sure marriage has brought on new stresses like that, but bottom line is we accept that and knew that there would be some struggles… We wouldn’t sacrifice being married to avoid higher bills though πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We lived together for 2 years before we got married, and we have been married for over a year now, and still very happy. Everyone asks if it feels any different after marriage, and although my quick answer is “not really” … BUT it does feel a bit different. We feel more connected and more like a family unit and team. And closer too.

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I expected it to be much like it was pre-marriage, and it very much has been. Except he’s out of the military and home now. It’s awesome, I have no complaints and no regrets. But i also didn’t have any pie in the sky expectations. Marriage hasn’t necessarily changed for us, but we’re more of a legitimate family (legally speaking) I guess you could say, and I love that he’s my husband now. But all the connections and feelings were there before we tied the knot. It’s just icing on the cake as far as I’m concerned.

Post # 15
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We were married just a few months shy of 4.5 years of dating.  We lived together for 3 of those.  So far it’s pretty much the same.  I assume that once he’s done with school, working full time and we start talking about a family, it will quickly become very different.

My parents had an awful marriage, and my husband had a very young, very bad first marriage.  I think we both knew what we were getting into.  We have very good conflict resolution, we agree on a lot of things and have no problem talking to each other… so that helps.

We also waited a little later in life.. I am 31 and he is 28.  So we have also experienced a lot, and know that we are exactly what the other one wanted in a perfect mate.

There are good matches out there.  And I agree with the PP that said that society is very “throw away” in nature.  I was watching bridezillas and both brides referred to this wedding as their “first marriage”… how blasae are they about divorce..?  To be considering having a second marriage before their first has even happened?  Weird.  But not everyone is like that.  My husband and I are both in this for the long haul, and we are willing to work like mad thru the bad times to make it work.

Not all marriages end in divorce.  We all have a good shot πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We moved in together when we got married.  The biggest benefit of the marriage is now I have my sweetie at home with me every day!  That puts the icing on the cake, so to speak, of married life.  The second biggest benefit is not having to obsess over a wedding anymore haha!

Besides that though, I don’t feel like I’m living in any sort of Cinderella-esque fairy tale.  We’re still working through the kinks of cohabitation and combined finances, but we’re getting there.  I guess that is kind of what I expected, so no disappointments here!

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