(Closed) Is MOH stealing my thunder? Or am I being ridiculous?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think she’s trying to steal your thunder. Maybe she was afraid to tell you her shower date because it’s so close to your wedding, and she didn’t want to offend you. After all, you gave up your original date choice so she could be married that day.

Perhaps she didn’t know the date of her shower. My shower’s in April, but the weekend changed so many times, I wasn’t sure until last week!

She also may not have chosen her Maid/Matron of Honor because she could feel she should ask you because she is yours, but isn’t sure. I know you say you don’t care if you aren’t her Maid/Matron of Honor, but maybe she is afraid you’ll be upset.

I’m sure she is just as stressed out as you are. I don’t think you’re crazy, but I think you might be stressing out more than you need to 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 I think you should just talk to her.  I’m not sure why she would withold the shower info.  If your a Bridesmaid or Best Man, who planned her shower? 

But if you think she might ask someone else to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, maybe just talk to her and let her off the hook. 

 

Post # 7
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Unless she was throwing her own shower, it’s unlikely she was in on the invites and setting the shower date except for providing names and addresses.  I’m guessing her choice for Maid/Matron of Honor is the one throwing the shower, isn’t that what MOHs do?  She’s prolly scared of offending you.  Don’t worry about it so much, she’s trying her best to keep the spotlight on you.

Post # 8
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with Tayna123- try talking to her.

Even though you’re nice when you talk to her normally, she probably knows that weddings bring out the crazyiness!!

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe she’s projecting onto you, what she’d be feeling if the roles were reversed.  Maybe she would be angry if someone had a bridal shower just before her wedding.  Or if her Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t choose her to be Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding. 

Could she be mad that you are having your wedding a couple of months before hers?  (Not that she should, you were very generous to give up a date you claimed first.)  Could she be jealous somehow?  Ohh how easy that is around weddings.  (IE you’re having a more expensive, or bigger wedding?)  Just throwing things out there.

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Def. talk to her, it really sounds like she is trying to walk on egg shells or something and trying to not offend you with her wedding stuff since her shower is two weeks before your wedding and doesn’t want to try to steal your thunder. Even if there is no reason for her to feel that way and it sounds ridiculous, women and wedding planning is a prime time for miscommunication between friends. 

Post # 11
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

While the whole avoidance thing she is doing isn’t necessarily right, she probably has held out on telling you about Maid/Matron of Honor and the shower for fear of upsetting you.  She already took your original wedding date, so maybe she didn’t want you to think she kept trying to do things to upset you on purpose.  As far as telling you about whether or not you were Maid/Matron of Honor, she probably took so long to say anything because she truly didn’t know.  I took forever for my wedding before deciding I would just have two.

Post # 12
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Lack of communication causes all kinds of stuff.  I agree with the other posters that she’s probably stressed, feels she has to please alot of people including you who has a wedding before her own.

I’d approach her gently and discuss things.  I’m kind of glad I don’t do facebook or myspace b/c I have heard so much of he said/she said stuff happening on there. 

Wish you both the very best!

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