Is mommy-to-be-zilla a thing?

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 18
108 posts
Blushing bee

Isilme :  While I agree with all the etiquette parts of your post (like it is not up to the guest of honor to dictate the venue etc) I will say I really disagree with this latest update where you say “it’s not about etiquette – you have a BABY coming.  You are not supposed to be spending your limited money (she works at a grocery store, her H is unemployed and might be disabled) on a party when your friends want to do it for you.”

That is a super judgmental thing to say and she can spend her money (limited or otherwise) however she wants. You have no idea how she and her Darling Husband plan to provide for this child (maybe they are getting lots of stuff from family and friends, maybe they are buying stuff second hand, maybe they just believe their child doesn’t need that much “stuff”) and as long as their choices don’t endanger the wellbeing of their child how they spend their money is quite frankly none of your business. 

Honestly? If I had a friend who judged what sort of mother I was going to be before my child was even born, based simply on how I chose to spend my money, I would hope they WOULD say something to my face – simply so I could know what type of person they really were and cut them out of my life before I wasted anymore of my time with them.

Post # 20
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Isilme :  I would just bow out of this shower altogether if I were you. She sounds like a giant pain in the ass and is it really worth it? FWIW my baby shower is in a week and all my friends told me so far was the date (although a family member told me what town it was being held in because she doesn’t like surprises so doesn’t understand that some of us do!). They did the same thing for my bridal shower and bachelorette and planned events WAY more awesome than I would have thought up for myself.  I think it says a lot about a person when they don’t feel like the people that love them are willing and capable of doing something to please them without being told precisely what to do.

And I wouldn’t say anything to her about how she wants to spend her money – if she hasn’t asked for baby budgeting tips than don’t offer. The exception being if she’s complained that she has no idea how they’ll afford this child but even then tread lightly.

Post # 21
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

LilliV :  It doesn’t sound like she is a mommy-to-be-zilla, it sounds like she has issues. Most of us have quirks with our personality, but we look in the mirror and make necessary changes. It sounds like she is missing that step. 

Throw the baby shower you want to host. She needs to step back, she isn’t the only one who wants things done her way. But when someone is celebrating you, you cannot tell them how to host their event. You show up and be grateful.

I live in Texas too, so I know the heat is insane in July/August. A baby shower at the tearoom sounds appropriate for the occasion and season.



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