Post # 1
I love my boyfriend, our relationship grew pretty fast. Weeks into our relationship I found myself sending him text that eerily sounded like wedding vows. They just came out, and I ment/mean every word. To which he’s done more than reciprocate.
Then I started having reocurring dreams involving marriage to him. Suffice to say, marriage has been on my mind. I don’t know if these ideas are coming from me or my intuition/vibes I’ve been getting from him.
Lately I’ve been thinking he may be thinking of or even planning a proposal. I wonder if any one here can help me figure out how far off or on track I am.
First i’ll say we have not really discussed marriage. But he is the marriage kind of guy. He’s been engaged previously and is now a single father. He’ll be thirty soon and has a decent job. He keeps up with house work, doesn’t party much etc…I’ve met his extended family.
So my suspicions all started one random day. He saw what I was wearing (a white outfit) and seemed to have a strong reaction. Later he seemed very concerned what my mom’s opinion of him was. Neither seem like a big deal, but something about those incidences just made me think marriage could be on his mind.
More recently; he’s still caring and interested in my mom’s opinions (im 25 btw, she just lives close by). The biggest possible “tip off” for me is that a ring of mine has been missing maybe a month now (usually is find it in a day or so if I misplaced it). And he didn’t buy this expensive item he wanted. Twice now he’s made an effort to suggest a dinner date ahead of time. Very sweet, and unexpected because were both indecisive and usually do things on a whim. However, the resturants he’s picked have pretty expensive bills attached. So I don’t know if he’s really saving money or what.
Lastly, when I sensed he was feeling insecure, I told him how much I love him and when I think about my future he’s always in it. To which he said that makes him so happy he felt like crying.
So what do you guys think, am I getting ahead of myself? Or is this all pretty normal.
Post # 3
it’s coming! get excited! 🙂 good luck bee and do inform us when it happens!
Post # 4
I guess it’s possible? It seems to me like if you’re ready for marriage, you guys would be discussing marriage and planning your lives together. Most couples who get engaged do so after a great deal of discussion. If you don’t feel comfortable asking him if an engagement is in your near future, I’d say you’re still a ways off from getting engaged.
ETA: Please don’t think I’m trying to criticize your relationship! You guys sound so happy together, and I certainly didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t hope for engagement. I just think you should stop wondering if he’s going to propose and start talking about if he’s going to propose!
Post # 5
If you have an answer you’re sure of, wait and see. If you don’t know (or if you’re going to say no) do everything in your power to prevent him having the opportunity to ask.
Post # 6
Hi @hazeleyez: first and foremost… I see you are NEW here… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
Your post brings two thoughts for me to the forefront…
You say you guys haven’t really discussed marriage.
As someone else mentioned, that usually comes up long before a proposal (the sharing of each’s LIFE PLANS)
Curious, if you haven’t gotten to that stage yet… then how long have you been dating each other ?
Post # 7
If you haven’t had a serious discussion about your futures together I would be weary of getting your hopes up. Nothing would be worse for your relationship than getting hyped up over every dinner date only to become agitated and upset when he doesn’t propose.
Post # 8
I agree with what the PPs have said. You *might* be getting ahead of yourself. Proposals and weddings are quite an exciting time, but you have to remember what it’s really about–two people with similar life goals committing to share their futures together. I would be a bit nervous about a proposal from someone that I haven’t discussed my dreams, goals, aspirations, priorities, etc. with at great lengths. That being said, you know your boyfriend better than any of us–do you think marriage is on his mind?
Post # 9
Thank you everyone for your welcoming and responses!!!!
It’s sounds like some people are concerned that marriage hasn’t been discussed in our relationship. I appreciate that point of view.
In truth, we haven’t been together all that long. Hence why I think neither of us has discussed it, though we both may want to. However, I’m certain he wants to get married in his life, and I know he feels I am the one for him. We’re both single parents and don’t want anymore kids. And we have a good handle on eachothers life goals.
It’s the amount of time we’ve been together that makes me feel crazy for jumping to conclusions. It’s been a little shy of 5 months together. I know most people would say that’s way too soon to even be considering it.
As for the ‘honeymoon stage, I’d say that was over (if it was ever really there) in three weeks. Or more so that the honeymoon feeling comes in waves with intermidiate tides of reality. Idk It’s hard to explain..but we communicate well and face problems head on. In other words, I have faith in our ability to work through problems.
I know I don’t need to be getting any hopes up this early. I have just been taken aback by my own thoughts and feelings on the matter. I’ve never put much thought into it before. I don’t feel the need to rush into an engagement, so I don’t really know the appropriate time to discuss it or how to bring it up. As I said I’ve never given in much thought before.
Im just wondering if its a better bet to brush all these thoughts aside for now
Post # 10
Well, not be looking for issues, but you say you haven’t been dating very long and that he’s been engaged before? Did it not work out for him last time because he rushed into things too quickly? Did he get engaged before he and the last girl knew each other well enough? I know previous relationships of his aren’t any of your business, but if he’s done that before, it wouldn’t be surprising if he did it again. He could be sincere about his feelings, but that doesn’t mean the two of you are ready to get married.
You know if you two are ready to get married or not. Just make sure marriage is something you are both ready for and aren’t rushing into.
Post # 11
@hazeleyez: We never discussed marriage ever and got engaged 8 months after we started dating. I opted for a long engagement so I coluld get used to the idea. Discussions prior to engagement don’t always happen, sometimes there are surprise proposals
Post # 12
@nycsa: This is awesome! Congratulations 🙂
@hazeleyez: To OP–no two couples are the same. What works for some may not necessarily be the same for another. My boyfriend and I have been dating for well over 5 years and have just started to get the ball rolling on getting engaged. But we started dating when we were 18, so our timing and what’s right for us probably won’t apply to you. Especially since it sounds like the two of you have much different priorities and are at a different stage in life than my boyfriend and I. Honestly, though, I don’t think it could hurt to talk about marriage and figure out if he has plans or not. It won’t necessarily ruin the surprise, but will ensure the two of you are on the same page 😉 Good luck!
Post # 13
@hazeleyez: It could be coming but I wouldnt hold your breath! Not saying he wont, im saying it may take longer than your expecting! That happend to me….i was thinking when we went out our first BIG take a plane to get there trip it was gonna happen…it didnt…for over 2 more years!! So if he doesnt do it soon dont get disheartened.
Post # 14
Thanks for everyone’s input!!! And congradulations on all of your engagements and marriages!! 😉
I know its pretty early to be thinking/hoping that far ahead so a dose of realism always helps 🙂 I don’t know …I just got this “sense” of it out of the blue from him. But who’s to say – our instincts can be misleading at times. And I guess it could be a very likely possibility that its on his mind, but that doesn’t mean it will happen any time soon.
..and well its better to be suprised right(?) I’m just very happy and lucky to be with him 🙂 I’m sure you all know the feeling 😉
Post # 15
p.s. this site seems to be incompatible with my phone when I try to post ..so sorry for the last response