- 6 years ago
I’m 26, and my boyfriend is 37. I have a BA in biology already, and have 1 year left before I get my BS Nursing. He is a licensed psychologist. We’ve been dating for 11 months. He first brought up marriage when we had just been dating for 2 months. We just “knew.” Now, 9 months later, I still want to marry him, but I’m not sure if he’s stalling. He keeps saying that he’s saving for a ring, but he knows I don’t need anything fancy. I’m a simple girl, and a $300 ring would suit me fine. He wants to get me a 10K bauble from Tiffany and Co…. but he can’t afford it yet, he says. I feel like he’s setting up a convenient excuse. Oh, and his mother offered him some engagement rings (she has so much jewelry she could own a store!) for him to give to me, and he turned them down, saying that he wanted to do it himself.
He just got a raise when he became a licensed psychologist, and he is spending a lot of his money on things…some of them are frivolous. I know he’s in the “honeymoon” period of getting a higher salary, so I’m trying to be patient while he spends his money on things that are not terribly important. He keeps pushing back the timeline for when he thinks we’ll get engaged, and I’m beginning to grow resentful as I watch him spend his money on everything but a ring. I’ve already talked to him about it, but he hasn’t changed.
I think if a man knows what he wants, he gets it… and if he wanted a ring for me, he could have gotten one by now. He spends money on bachelor things (outdoor equipment, trips, clothes, scuba lessons, etc.) but doesn’t buy things that would indicate that he’s ready for marriage (furniture for his apt., a ring, etc.) He didn’t have furniture when we met because he was planning on moving, but then he met me and his plans changed.
We’ve been ring shopping, and he knows what kind of style I like, so what’s the stalling for? Does this mean his priorities aren’t on marriage? Has it been to soon for me to get upset? Isn’t he too old to not know what he wants already? We’re on a week-long break right now, thinking about things. (I initiated it). It’s just hard for me to keep giving 100% to the relationship if I know that it won’t end up in marriage… or that he feels forced.
Oh, and there’s kind of a deadline for this whole thing. I am graduating from nursing school in a year, and he wants us to move out of Texas immediately after I graduate. I am NOT moving without a ring. But I need to know which plans to make… to stay in Texas and look for jobs here or to try to look for jobs out of state? I need to know how/which plans to make, because getting a job in TX would definitely be easier (I have 3 relatives that could get me hook ups for a job in TX).