(Closed) Is my caterer rude? I think she’s a cow…

posted 10 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I believe her message was out of line, but as you stated it’s too late in the game to do anything else.  When you meet with her on Saturday, ask her the best/preferred way to contact her, are certain days better than others, what time is best and what she considers her average response time is.  See if you can set up a time each week to touch base, so you know what’s going on.  Just stay calm on Saturday and feel her out to see what she’s willing to do to communicate with you better. 

GL!

Post # 5
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Ditto pp, she’s out of line, but at this point I would suck it up and be sweet to her and joke about doing yoga.  It’s not worth it to get on her bad side this close to the wedding.  Maybe that’s too passive an approach, but that’s what I’d do. 

Post # 6
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If you take up yoga, you can always beat her with your mat. She was WAY out of line. Is she a real caterer or just somebody who does it part time?

Post # 7
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Plan to give yourself a reward if you don’t lose your cool on Saturday – like an extra Starbucks, some ice cream, a shot of hard alcohol, whatever works!  I sometimes need to taunt myself like I’m a little kid to get things done!  For example – I had to do my push ups last night before I could have a beer!

You’ll be fine, but I do like KateMW’s idea!

Post # 8
Member
48 posts
Newbee

                       She is out of line. If at all possible, I’d save that messgae-if, heaven forbid, things go really wrong, it could be a good piece of evidence in small claims court.

Post # 9
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Maybe if she *sucks* at returning message (and possibly also at public relations) you could suggest that SHE call YOU to provide updates – on a schedule that you set up at your meeting.  Or, of course, there is always email.  If she would prefer to answer questions that way, I’m sure that’s okay.  However, it’s NOT okay for her to be nasty to you for leaving her messages!!  Surely you’re not the first client she’s had who wants to actually communicate about the event.

I did not have any vendors that were nasty like this, and all of mine were good at communicating… although they had their own ways of doing it.  The banquet coordinators for the reception and the Rehearsal Dinner preferred to communicate by email – and generally returned emails by the next day at the latest.  My band leader preferred phone – and called once a week in the last month to update me and confirm details.  My florist and my baker, oddly enough, just liked for me to drop by, and so I did.

Post # 10
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Okay….I have a job that keeps me that busy too, and part of my job DESCRIPTION is to communicate with clients.  I may not always like it….I may dread it, but I suck it up and do it because that’s my job.  She was way out of line and unprofessional.

Post # 11
Member
39 posts
Newbee

the caterer i was originally going to hire sounded like that too.  she had a blog and i was reading her perspective of it all.  from the caterer’s view, they’ve done countless weddings so they know how to prioritize and divvy up their time (as they are super busy).  but from your perspective, you haven’t been a bride countless times so it’s much more nervewracking for you. 

but if you trusted your caterer enough to sign a contract, i think you should be okay.  however, that being said…i think your caterer could have shown more courtesy towards you.  customer service is still important regardless how delicious the food may be 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

My caterer is going through some issues right now and sometimes has trouble returning my emails or phone calls — however, 1) she told me what the issue was up front, 2) she NEVER speaks to me like that. She’s always apologetic, not snarky(!), for not returning my message sooner. So yeah, yours is a cow. =)

My wedding is also in 2 weeks, so I know exactly how you feel — my DJ is ignoring me. Do you have a wedding planner? I sicced my wedding planner on him (she’s the one who recommended him to me), and she can deal with his shortcomings in a professional manner without having to get me involved. Or maybe ask someone to do it who’s serving as a de facto wedding planner? Or have someone pretend to be your wedding planner and do it?? It’s really a great way to get what you want/need from your vendors while preserving the relationship, as you know the wedding planner will handle it calmly and professionally (something that I know is a little hard to do 2 weeks out).

Post # 13
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Ugh, how frustrating! Regardless of whether the caterer knows she has everything under control and doesn’t have time to respond in full to your emails, it only takes 2 seconds to respond acknowledging that she received it and will be in touch in 2 or 3 days. A large part of any vendor’s job is communication (in a mature, professional manner) and good people skills.

I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that she will follow through with everything and you will have an amazing wedding…but if you truly feel like you have been mistreated by her, don’t forget you can express that in the tip (assuming you don’t end up hurting the waitstaff in the process). Another option is to contact the Better Business Bureau so that future brides have the knowledge that you, unfortunately, didn’t.

Good luck!!

Post # 14
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Yes, consider Weddingbee like your yoga in dealing with the stress she’s causing you! That’s no way to treat a customer, no matter how good your catering work is. Sadly, you probably aren’t going to be able to reform her attitude before the big day. Get your details ironed out on Saturday, have a laugh with her about calming yourself down (to get on her good side) and discuss having one final check-in with her before the big day–i.e., you will call her at X time on X day just to make sure everything is going a-okay.  

Post # 15
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Totally agree with Chelsea – vent here!!  What she is doing is not great customer service.  I am sure she has it all under control, but use your Saturday meeting to ask all your questions.   Make sure you get what you want out of her and  tell her you appreciate her humoring a nervous bride, whatever.  Don’t let her know you are pissed off because you want this woman working for you!

 Our band – our biggest expense outside of catering – was sooo unresponsive.  It was really annoying and I would never recommend them again.  But , they did a great job at the wedding. We did make sure they eventually communicated with us, but it was not fun, and we didn’t tip them as a result of the poor service.

Post # 16
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

be sure you get quotes on the "extras" so she doesn’t screw you with a HUGE bill

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