(Closed) Is my clingy friend a little too cozy with me AND my hubby?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think she is very needy and probably doesn’t have very many friends, if any. I suggest that your husband defriend her from his facebook account. If she wants to make comments, she can make them on your account.

Post # 4
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s really weird! If you’re not that close anyway, I think it might be worth considering terminating the friendship. She’ll probably give you a hard time about it for a while but if you ignore her, she won’t have anyone to feed her neediness. If you really want to be friends still, maybe you can try having a serious conversation with her, laying out your concerns, and see what she says. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am in a similar situation (although maybe not as bad). I have a close friend (she’s actually going to be a bridesmaid for me), and she constantly gchats with my FH. In fact, a few weeks ago we got in a slight tiff…and she complained to him about it! He always tells me what she says, but I think it is really inappropriate. Luckily she just started dating someone new, so I think she might lay off him for awhile. But if not, I might have to say something!

Anyways, in your situation, I wonder if you could just jokingly say something to her like “Wow, soandso asked me WTH was going on since some other woman was all over DH’s FB page?” Do you think she would get that it was inappropriate then?

Post # 6
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i know i watch too many lifetime movies but ive seen one too many that started out that way…i think you should stay away.. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ditto what noritake22 advised.

I know she’s going to be sensitive about it – but you need to just address it head on.  

Post # 8
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’ve found that ignoring people like that or saying something like, “Oh, did you send me a facebook message? I kind of grew out of my facebook phase after college” can (passive aggressively – I admit it) get them to stop.

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

i had a friend like that in the end i had to just cut her off. she would have her bf call me and yell at me if i didnt reply her msg within like a day or two.. thats just too clingy for me. i dont think ur hubby should delete her cos that will lead to more drama, he should just ignore any comments she puts on his page n u guys shouldnt invite them round as often, if at all.

Post # 11
Member
2309 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with trying to cut ties as fast and clean as you can. I don’t think the post is “high school” but they seem very “high school” and you should consider finding more grown up companions as friends.

Post # 12
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m with the PP- it seems like it’s time to cut ties. Her and her boyfriend’s behavior seems to be a little on the immature side, and obviously you and your husband are over that sort of stuff. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally had a friend like this.  She was super clingy, to the point that most of our mutual friends had blocked her number, and I was the only one left still being nice to her.  Eventually I just couldn’t take it anymore and had to cut off all contact with her.  It got pretty creepy for a while, as though I had gone through a break-up with her.  She then backed off for a while, but after a few months started emailing my boyfriend at the time asking why I didn’t talk to her anymore, etc.

People like this are never fun to have in your life, so my suggestion is to just end contact with her (don’t be wishy-washy about it) and make sure your husband does, too.

Post # 14
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with picturemeurs, you feel like the post is highschool-esque because your friend is acting highschool-esque. I agree with everyone that you need to cut her off. She doesn’t seem like she is in the same place as you maturity wise, and if it is making BOTH you and your husband uncomfortable, it needs to end.

Post # 15
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would tell your husband to restrict her access to his profile without deleting it. He can put her on a list and makke his wall invisible etc. But I also think thats just the first step. you will eventually have to back off. I mean all that whining and complaioning its really just too much. ANd it is totally inapprpriate to expect to “crash” with someone who has a child so way to go for you

 

ai hope this works out well for you and not all super creepy like a lifetime movie :-/

Post # 16
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with the PP about having your husband make his wall private to her.  This will not allow her to post on his wall.  As you said, she will probably send him a message or ask why she can no longer see/post on his wall.  Just say something like he had to clean it up for work, or for privacy or something like that.  

If there is anyone else that she knows that is friends with her as well, I would also recommend limiting their access to his page as well.  

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