Post # 1
My fiance and I have been engaged for two years without really setting a wedding date. I introduced my female cousin to my fiance’s sister at a concert about a year ago. Since then, they have completely pushed me out of the friendship and now my cousin seems to appear at all of my fiance’s family functions. Recently my fiance’s sister has become engaged to a man she has been dating a short while. She has already bought her dress and the family is shopping for venues. That hurt a little since we haven’t even set a date but the real kicker is that she asked MY cousin to be in her wedding as the Maid/Matron of Honor and I’m not even sure I’m invited. I didn’t want to be in the wedding but the thought of seeing my cousin walk down the aisle with my fiance, who will most likely be in the wedding is very hurtful. My fiance says that he doesn’t care about it anyway but do I have a right to be upset? I feel like she is trying to steal my fiance’s family and I am being pushed out.
Post # 3
Trying to steal your fiance? No. How do you even know they will be walking down the aisle together if you’re not positive he’ll be in the wedding party?
Your cousin and FI’s sister have become closer friends than with you. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sorry your feelings are hurt and you’re feeling left out, but you are being overly sensitive and making it into something it’s not.
Post # 4
My Fiance has walked down the aisle with other girls at lots of weddings when he’s been part of the bridal party and I haven’t. Unless there’s something else you’re upset about, and I’m not understanding your story right, I’d shrug it off. And be glad that you introduced your fiance’s sister and your cousin to each other– clearly they’ve become great friends because of your introduction! Nothing to be upset about, IMO.
Post # 5
@justaguest: no she’s not trying to steal him. Some people just hit it off and become friends right away, which sounds like what happened with your cousin and your FI’s sister. There is nothing wrong with your Fiance walking with another woman in someone’s wedding. Their arms will touch for maybe a minute tops and then it will be over. Don’t overthink this, it isn’t what you think it is.
Post # 6
So your cousin and your FI’s sister have become close friends? How does that mean that she is trying to steal your FI?? Maybe I am missing a piece of the story…
I’ve walked down the aisle as a bridemaid in other people’s weddings before… while Fiance sat and watched. 😛
Can I ask why you don’t think you will be invited though? I think that’s the bigger question here. This is your FI’s sister’s wedding we’re talking about right?
Post # 8
I think you’re feeling hurt because you and your fiance haven’t set a date yet, but his sister has. Is there a reason you both have been waiting? Can you have a discussion and set the date?
Post # 9
Do you have a right to be upset? No. They’re friends… you don’t really have a place to say hey cousin, meet FI’s sister… by the way you’re not allowed to be friends…
ETA: your FI’s sister doesn’t have to wait until you set a date. It’s already been 2 years already.
Post # 10
I think you are worried about his commitment to you or maybe lack of. Which is why you would be worried about him walking in a wedding with someone else.
Post # 11
Sounds like she really hit it off with your FI’s sister. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Also, you can’t really get upset about your FI’s sister planning her wedding before yours since you haven’t set a date.
Everyone else in the family can’t be expected to put their plans on hold because you got engaged first.
Post # 12
Do you mean that your cousin is trying to steal FI’s family?
It’s definitely hurtful that you were pushed out of the friendship, but there’s nothing wrong with the two of them becoming close friends – that stuff just happens. I’m not sure why your cousin would need to appear at family functions though – that’s a little strange.
If I were you I would try not to take too much offense and just wait it out. After the wedding, things will change – your cousin will be second fiddle to your SIL’s marriage. And naturally family tends to stick together and get closer with time as long as there is no bad blood of course.
Post # 13
like PP, said… no.
besides all their points, i think you two should really just set a timeline for getting married!
Post # 14
Does she even like your Fiance, I mean did she especifically asked to walk with him? Is there a reason why you think she wants him? None of this seems like a red flag, I understand you’re emotional but you’re watching problems where there aren’t any. Calm down, think about things and don’t make a scene.
Post # 15
How can you be engaged two years and get nothing done? And why be jealous? Just start planning your own wedding.
Post # 16
I think the OP meant more that her cousin is starting to feel more like a member of the family than the OP herself feels. I also think there is the fact that the OP is not close to her FI’s sister and her Future Sister-In-Law is suddenly really close to OP’s cousin. To the OP, I’m sorry but I agree with @moderndaisy: they are now friends. Nothing you can do about that. Just continue being as friendly as you’ve always been. Maybe you guys are not cut out to be besties. Also, I agree with @vmec: you’ve had two years to set your date. They can’t wait on you guys. And finally, I honestly don’t understand why you think you are not invited to the wedding? You are her brother’s fiancée so of course you would be there. And there’s nothing wrong with your cousin walking beside your Fiance in the wedding party. I don’t even know WHY you think they will walk out together except if they are the ONLY members of the bridal party??