Post # 1
My fiance and I began planning our wedding a year and a half before the day so that we would have plenty of time to get things together. However, shortly after we had picked our date… my cousin and his wife decided to renew their vows on the same date. I normally wouldn’t have a problem with this since my Mom has a ton of brothers and sisters and I wasn’t planning on inviting them or my cousins to our wedding in order to keep our numbers below 100.
But, my cousins wife is being totally ridiculous in my opinion. First of all, she called all of my family asking them to tell me to change my date. I find this insane because that is not even the date that they got married on in the first place and they are picking it for a ridiculous reason (i.e. she left him and they got back together on that date but this is only one of the fifty times this has happened in their marriage). There is no sentimental attachment to that date for me and my fiance either but we had already started booking vendors and I told her that it wasn’t going to change.
So then she starts throwing a hissy fit because she wants my grandparents at their “wedding” and thinks that my wedding is going to interfere with that. Well, I lived with my grandparents for part of my childhood and feel that I am much closer to them than my cousin and his psycho wife. Not only that, they are elderly and our wedding is 20 minutes away from their house and my cousin’s “wedding” is an hour away. But, not wanting to have a petty family drama match I told my Mom that my grandparents can go to whichever wedding they would like and that I am not going to be offended if they go to cousin’s and wife’s since I know they are much more dramatic and petty people than I am. Granted, they are the only grandparents I have and would like them to come to mine, but I won’t hold it against them like some of the less classy people in our family might.
But I have had my last straw and feel the need to go punch this psycho woman in the face because today she asked my SISTER who is my Maid of Honor to be in her wedding. That is just rude and disrespectful to me. I don’t think I’m being a bridezilla being that I am willing to give up pressuring my grandparent’s into coming to my wedding for them, but I find this totally out of line.
So before I get totally angry and drive to my aunt’s house (yes these people still live with my aunt and uncle despite being well into their thirties and having children) and lay a smackdown on her… does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this wacko or has anyone else ever had to deal with similar situation before?
My sister did tell her No and she did suggest that they change their date if they don’t like it.
Post # 3
@pollyphonetic: I think she’s being nuts. Do you think the rest of your family will agree? If so, I’d let her show her true colors and carry on.
Post # 4
SHE is CRAY CRAY….
I vote .. punch her.
sigh ok i know you aren’t supposed to encourage that .. but seriously HOW MANY DAYS DOES SHE GET ….
Post # 5
Holy crap, what a psycho! I don’t really know what to say except I’m sorry.
It’s a VOW RENEWAL. That should not trump your actual wedding.
Post # 6
some body drank the crazy juice and its NOT YOU1. i would just let her be and hope your family choses your wedding to go to and not theirs..
Post # 7
Since you weren’t inviting them or the other aunts/uncles/cousins anyway, it sounds like the only people who have a conflict are your grandparents. I think a far better strategy is talk to your grandparents and try to get them to attend yours, since (a) you booked first, and (b) I assume they attended your cousin’s actual wedding.
I wouldn’t bother with your aunt because I suspect she’ll side with her son and daughter-in-law. I don’t mean to sound harsh but I don’t see the point of asking them to change for an event they’re not invited to.
Post # 8
if its a vow renewal why would you need a bridal party- have ur own children in the freaking wedding not some cousin…
Post # 9
I know alot of people who need a good punch in the face. It seems like your cousins wife would be one of them.
Post # 11
@Mars62312: My mom thinks she is being completely nutty about this as does my sister. My Mom has stated that she knows my grandparents would much rather go to my weddng but like I said, I won’t hold it against them like these people will if they don’t come to mine. I love them and don’t want them to have to deal with family drama. But I just am shocked that she crossed that line with my sister…
Post # 12
A wedding is much more important than a vow renewal. I would ignore her as much as possible. People who you invite will come to your wedding over hers.
Post # 13
Wow… I’m speechless. What amazingly selfish person. It’s actually very sad, considering that she has kids.
Ok, so I guess that you can’t change your wedding day now – but is there anyway you can make arrangements so that your family doesn’t end up being torn between you both (i.e. they have a noon affair, you an evening)? I primarily think about your grandparents that must be an awful situation for them!
I shouldn’t say, but hope they break up again at least a little so that the renewal thing is off for a while!
Post # 14
Uhm, is she actually doing this to try and steal your wedding?
I would mention to your grandparents that it would mean a lot to you to have them there, in a non pressurey way, but so they know that you do actually want them there.
Would it not be best (and this is a little childish I know…) to just have a super awesome wedding, make sure everyone knows how awesome it will be, and have her have a vow renewal with no one there?
Post # 15
@pollyphonetic: That’s good. I have the feeling your grandparents will of course do the right thing. More importantly, I wouldn’t engage this woman in an argument. You absolutely cannot argue with crazy.
Post # 16
@HisIrishPrincess: +1, another vote for punch her