(Closed) Is My Engagement Ruined Forever?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sounds like this is your exit sweetheart. I am sorry it had to end this way, but it sounds like yalls behaviours dont reflect a healthy relationship. I can only expect this type of behaviour to get worse if you choose to get married. He should have been able to be there for you emotionally. If you have been to gether for several years he should know what you need in a time of disress or stress. I am sorry for the ugly turn of events in what shoul be a happy occasion.

Post # 4
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Think its time to go. He def overreacted, and throwing a ring at you was so uncalled for. i thnk this is Gods way of saying that maybe….he just isnt for you….

Post # 5
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree. You deserve better.

Post # 6
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Usually with posts like this, someone suggest therapy. So I’ll be that person. Because seriously, it sounds like he could use it whether you stay with him or not.

Post # 7
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honey he physically hurt you. Emotional aspect aside, that is not ok. He has no job, has legal troubles (I’m assuming from you saying he could go away for a long time, forgive me if that’s not it), and anger issues. Plus he didn’t support you when you needed him. He def does not sound like the catch of the century. You can do soooo much better than that. It sounds like you’ve been waiting for him to propose out of a desire for all the fun wedding stuff, not out of actually wanted to be with him. Get out there and find someone worthy of you!

Post # 8
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You deserve better.  Is this the kind of relationship you would want your best friend, mother, daughter to be in?  You are not wrong for wanting him to be there for you and a true man that loves you would be.  Get out now so you can find the right person you are supposed to be with.  And we’ll be looking forward to your part II when you have met that man.  It is most definitely better to be single than in a toxic relationship.

Post # 9
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

It seems as if he is benefitting from the relationship with you, but you are getting nothing from him. I’m not even talking about finances alone, but he is offering no emotional support at all. He doesn’t seem ready or mature enough to be in any type of relationship. Sounds like you should move on. If my SO did that to me, the relationship would be over for good. You deserve so much better!

Post # 10
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Do you really want to live with this sort of behavior for the rest of your life? You support this guy in every way possible and he can’t be there for you when you need some emotional support? And he whips a jewelry box with an engagement ring at you? I know it hurts to change what you have grown comfortable with but darn girl! Do you really think things will get better after you’re married?  We can not change people into what we want them to be.

I wasted YEARS of my life with a man who behaved similarly to yours. I supported him for years and kept waiting for his behavior to change. It never did. He is over 50 years old and still has teenage party animal mentality. After that relationship broke up and I met my FH. I finally realized how horribly I was treated by my ex for all those years.

Post # 11
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You should NEVER have to feel afraid of your husband. Run for the exit, girl. I’m so sorry and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. But be glad you found out now, rather than after a proposal or a wedding, that he can take it so far as to physically hurt you when you have done nothing wrong. Being devestated over the loss of a pet and upset over lack of support and ignoring your anniversary should of had him apologizing, not blowing up! Like what, he thinks the fact that he was planning a proposal excuses him from being a loving and supportive boyfriend, especially in your time of need and on your anniversary? And what’s more, he isn’t even apologetic after hurting you and blowing up at you! I don’t think you’ll ever be able to feel the same about him after this.

Post # 12
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

He hit you. Go.

Post # 13
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@amazonestrella718: He sounds abusive. Get out now. Enlist the support of your family and friends. Be safe. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, hon. It will get better.

Post # 15
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

A smiliar thing happened with my ex, although the financial roles were reversed (I’m a student). He had a short fuse and would get very angry very suddenly over nothing. Eventually after a row about his drinking, he threw his phone at me and it hit me. I left on the spot and went to a friend’s house, and moved out the next morning. 

As @Leahhh and @mireisen have said, he was violent towards you. I know it’s probably only been once and he didn’t *technically* hit you – this is the stuff I was saying to myself – but consider also that that is how he appears to respond to stress. I’m just not sure that marriage and its attendant stresses, and particularly children, if you plan to have them, will do anything but exacerbate that tendency. I would very strongly advise you to leave, for both your sakes. If you choose to stay, I’d make it clear that he has to work on his temper before any commitment is possible.

Good luck, I know it sucks. Thinking of you, PM me if you want to talk.

Post # 16
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m sorry to be dense, but I don’t understand this post.  How did you ruin your engagement?  What exactly do you think you did to deserve this sort of terrible behavior?

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