(Closed) Why is FI acting like this…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

This is a gigantic red flag, and you need to address it ASAP. This kind of jealousy is not normal or okay. It’s a controlling behavior that will likely lead to full-on emotional abuse.

Post # 5
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@chesseplease: What did you say, and how did he respond?

Post # 6
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@chesseplease: I would be really really concerned about this if I were you. This controlling behavior is not normal. Hes jealous over a guy that you view as a little brother? Really? Could he be projecting his insecurities on you? Because peoples behaviors dont change 180 degrees just because you are engaged. How old are you two? Given the little bit of information he seems really immature. Without additional information though, I would say seek therapy or put your foot down and find out why he is acting this way.

Post # 7
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@Mrs Grape: I agree.  This is NOT normal. 

You need to ask him what’s going on.  Are these the only two incidents?  Everyone has bad days.  But if this is a pattern, you need to seek counseling.  How long have you been together?

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

A man can be “strict” with his children, not his wife. 

Post # 9
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@UpstateCait: Exactly. If I ever started to describe my fiance as “strict” I’d run and never look back..

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

he can’t tell you who to be friends with. By deleting guys off your facebook, you told him he can tell you what to do and you’ll do it.

It’s not ok. You are your own person. Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. Don’t let him push you around now, it’ll only get worse when your married.

Post # 12
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ok… this is just no good. Is this really out of the blue, honestly? Or is it just recently getting more intense? This is how abusers start, they isolate their SO from friends and family. You’re not a piece of property, and he really has no business telling you who you can and cannot speak to.

Is he guilty about something, or doing something shady that is making him super paranoid about you?

Post # 13
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@chesseplease: You need to establish boundaries–you have the RIGHT to be friends with whoever the hell you please, and as long as the friendship doesn’t start to become inappropriate (most of them don’t–it’s totally possible for a man and woman to be JUST friends), he needs to step off.

That he doesn’t see anything wrong with his behavior is a bad, bad sign. 

Post # 13
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

This is a HUGE red flag. Not olny is it a warning sign for potential abuse, but also a red flag for infidelity.

Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. Don’t let him push you around now, it’ll only get worse when your married.—- Also this.

Post # 14
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

No. And if my Darling Husband had, I would be seriously questioning what I had gotten myself into. His behaviour of jealousy and control is not cool.

Post # 15
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

After we got engaged, my fiance got more loving, our bond grew even deeper, and we became more comfortable and secure with each other than ever before.  All positive things. 

Your fiances behavior is not acceptable, like, at all.  Would you put up with that shit if you were just dating?  I doubt it.  So most definitely don’t put up with it now.  When people show you who they really are, believe them.  Address this ASAP!

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