(Closed) Is my fiance invited to this wedding? (not sure by the invitation…help!)

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is FI invited?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1726 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Maybe when they originally made the guestlist, you weren’t engaged, so they weren’t planning on a required “guest” for you. I’m sure they wouldn’t mean to exclude the Fiance, but unfortunately the wording makes it seem that way. I would call…

    Post # 18
    Member
    315 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If I were in your situation I would either decline or put down FI’s name.  I avoid confrontation at all costs, though.

    Post # 19
    Member
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Just call/email and find out.  If they say no, then you can decide if you want to go; if yes, then no big deal.  No point in making an issue otherwise until you find out.  It could have been an oversight – maybe someone helped with addressing the envelopes and the couple forgot to include your FI’s name.  But that the rsvp card says guest(s) – that allows for another person (rather than just guest).

    Again, gripping before you find out the deal is silly.  Call!

    Post # 20
    Member
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’d call or send a light e-mail to double check.  They could’ve made the guest list before you got engaged, and be printing off of that.  Or it could be a case where mom or a bridesmaid is doing the addressing.  Before missing an event, I’d make sure it wasn’t an oversight.  Don’t pressure them, but say something like “just got your invitation – what beautiful paper/caligraphy/letterpress!  One quick thing, the envelope was just addressed to me, so the invite isn’t for Fiance too, right?”  That way, she can say “yes that’s right!” instead of feeling like she’s backed into a corner and have to say “no, actually we couldn’t invite +1s” or whatever.

    Post # 21
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    If the inviter knew you were engaged and didn’t put his name on the invite – then assume he wasn’t invited.  BUT if the inviter is not that close to you or Fiance, then call and ask if he was meant to be invited – or not.  RSVP accordingly based on their answers without judging.

    Post # 22
    Member
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    call and check–a friend of mine was MORTIFIED when she found out her Fiance addressed the envelopes for her. He only included one person on the envelope because he assumed everybody knew their SO was invited. I had one friend call me, freaking out about if her Fiance was invited and said, Yeah, W made a msitake

    Call and check very casual-like

    Post # 23
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    While it only says your name on the envelope, it would be ridiculous to think that your fiance isn’t invited. Perhaps they don’t know that you are engaged. You should ask them about it. If he’s not invited, personally I would decline because I think it’s inappropriate.

    Post # 24
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    When in doubt, ask.

    Super casual and politely of course.

    Post # 25
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I mean I guess I would ask VERY NICELY- But I am assuming no.

    Post # 26
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If the envelope is only addressed to you, but the inner envelope includes your name and guest. Yes, he is invited–or a guest of your choice. If the inner envelope simply includes your name, then he is not invited. If there is no inner envelope and the invitation is simply addressed to you, then no he is not invited. The reply card is simply made that way for ANYONE who recieves an invitation (they aren’t going to print seperate response cards to all guests)

     

    M (you fill in (r) for Mr. or (s) for Ms. or (rs) for Mrs. or (r) Mr. and Mrs. ___)

    __ (fill in the number of guests attending–of course depends on how many were invited on the envelope) if just you…then 1.

    or check will not attend.

    Hope this helps!

    Post # 27
    Member
    1060 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

    i’d call or email to ask too. we screwed up some of our envelope wordings and had to make a lot of calls informing everyone that yes, their kids were invited as well. mistakes happen!

    Post # 28
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I would send an email. While it’s common knowledge to us that any plus one is address on the envelope, I just received an invite last week that only had my name, but my FH is invited as well. Some brides don’t have the awesome source of knowledge of weddingbee – she probably didn’t even think about your situation!

    FYI: The reason I was only listed on the invite was bc my FH and I don’t live together…so she thought it was silly to put both of us on the invite. oi!

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