(Closed) Is my fiancee emotionally cheating on me? Please Help.

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 151
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Beautiful place.

Let us know how it ends. I hope you are ok. Best of luck and lots of hugs. 😘💋❤️

Post # 152
Member
472 posts
Helper bee

needhelp2832832: This is not okay at ALL.  Little flower?! I’m seriously gonna puke.  I know everyone says shes “so sweeeet” but dont fall for that shit!  I use to work with a girl who everybody loved because she was “so sweeet” and she was screwing everybodys husbands!  So you have a major problem on your hands.  You need to tell him like… now, that this is not okay and it makes you really uncomfortable.  My fiancee does tech support too.  and soemtimes after he gets home at like 3 sme of the ladies who work in shipping will text him when their computers freeze and they cant finsih up the orders for the day.  he tells me EVERY SINGLE TIME a woman texts him.  Hell go “oh susie just texted me, her password isnt working and she needs to ship out like 200 semi-conductors by 3!” (this is an actual conversation that just happened lol)   and then he will call and help her out.  The fact that he likes all her instagram pics is gross..  don’t like that at all.   You need to have a serious conversation with him regarding emotional cheating and that it is the same thing as physical cheating!  good luck!  If he says you are overreacting show him this thread lol, and if he gets mad that you posted your problems online say yes I did because i can’t talk to you about this which is not a good sign either

Post # 154
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Duplicate post deleted.

Post # 155
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I am so sorry you are going through this needhelp2832832.

The flirtatious aspect and whether it is acceptable is something I think depends on each couple. Some people are just naturally flirty and their SO doesn’t mind it because they know it means nothing. Based on your post though, it seems like that isn’t his typical MO.

I think him calling her late at night is a big red flag. That is so disrespectful to you and to your relatioship.

 

Having been with a cheater in the past (and stayed with him for nearly 2 years), I recommend you address it head on. I didn’t do this and things spiraled out of control for far too long. When I was facing this situation, it was scary for me to let him know I was on to him because I didn’t want to alert him to the fact that I could monitor his behavior. I was worried that if I did so, he would know how to sneak around behind my back more successfully and I wouldn’t have any way of knowing. That might not be an issue for you but if it is just remind yourself that you don’t want a life in which you must be his parole officer. You don’t want a SO you must monitor in order to trust him.

Address it head on and based on his reaction you can decide how you want to handle it. It could be that you confronting him is enough to jar him back to his senses and you are able to prevent the situation from progressing further.

Post # 156
Member
2005 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

needhelp2832832:  YES. Wow, i would totally confront him!!

Post # 157
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Beautiful place.

Please, up date!!! 💋❤️

Post # 158
Member
2005 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

ugh just so mad about this. LITTLE FLOWER? LEAVE THAT WEED!!!!!

Post # 159
Member
5224 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d love an update too(hopefully about how she and “little flower” both told him to screw off), but I think it’s probably good that the OP isn’t bothering with WB right now. 

Post # 160
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Umm defintely not okay. Nothing wrong with having females friends from work…but their friendships seems to be out of line. Late night phones, emailing back and forth with messages that aren’t about work, calling her “little flower.” You should be worried. I would definitely have a sit down with him and let him know you do not feel comfortable with their friendship.

Post # 161
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Umm defintely not okay. Nothing wrong with having females friends from work…but their friendships seems to be out of line. Late night phones, emailing back and forth with messages that aren’t about work, calling her “little flower?” You should be worried. I would definitely have a sit down with him and let him know you do not feel comfortable with their friendship.

Post # 162
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Guess i don’t have to say that i think he is emotionally cheating as i read all the replies. Curious to know if you confronted him and talked to Becky?

Post # 163
Member
45 posts
Newbee

I maybe have some perspective from the inside here.

I had a friend from work, as far as I was concerned we were platonic. We got on well and worked 1 on 1 all the time. I’m in a long term relationship, he was engaged with a child. He started complementing me here and there and when I left the job all of a sudden he was messaging me to say he wanted to be with me and we should go for drinks! I shut him down FAST! SO FAST! There are guys who will persue other women and think nothing of it. A new shiny toy. ‘The grass is always greener’.

Imagine if an engaged man was calling you beautiful and calling you his pretty little flower. I would feel so uncomfortable! I would also feel that it was not respectful to that person’s fiance! 

It is perfectly possible to be friends with the opposite sex without it being about attraction! But in those cases it is not appropriate to be complementing someone like that at all! 

You have every right to be worried about this! 

Post # 164
Member
45 posts
Newbee

needhelp2832832:  You’re doing the right thing girl <3 Get all the love and support around you that you can. We’re rooting for you bee x 

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