Is my gift too cheap?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Church

akshali2000 :  I don’t think your gifts sounds cheap at all and getting all the BMs the same stuff is fine. You did great 🙂 

Post # 32
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

Personally, I think what you have done is perfect! Remeber, they are not doing for a gift, they are doing it to support you. The fact you are thinking of them shows that you really do care.

Post # 33
Member
8868 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

akshali2000 :  When you label it Bridal Party Expenses and break it out like this, it encourages you to FEEL like these are necessary expenses and that you’re doing them for the bridal party. Bouquets should be rolled into your flower budget. What is the benefit of breaking the bridesmaid bouquets out of the flower budget? There is none. If you want the bridesmaids to carry flowers, that’s part of your flower budget. Hair and robes are so your pictures look how you want them to look. What is your own hair and attire listed under for budgeting? Why isn’t the bridesmaid’s under the same category since the purpose of them is the same? Or you could put the girls’ bouquets, hair, and robes under decor since these are all aesthetics. I think I saw in a prior post that the hotel room is because you wanted everyone to stay together the night before, so that’s just your accommodation that you’ve requested them to join you in. You don’t HAVE to do any of these, and you’re allowed to set whatever you want as your “bridesmaid thank you gifts” budget but its disingenuous to say “look at my spreadsheet — I can only spend $xx on thank you gifts because I’m spending so much on these other expenses for the bridal party!” If you wanted to give a more generous gift, you could skip the robes (and let them do their own hair, and carry smaller or no bouquets). YOU want the robes, you want their hair and bouquets to look a certain way, and you want them to sleep with you the night before.

The way you’re labelling and breaking this out is affecting how you see these expenses. Photography budget = what you have to pay for photography, floral budget = what you have to pay for flowers, catering budget = what you have to pay for catering, bridal party budget = what you have to pay for the bridal party. Except that last one is incorrect. Bridal party did not give you a quote or sign a contract, they did not ask for any of these line items, and wouldn’t care one way or the other if you skipped them. I recommend rolling these into your decor or other category(s) that reflects that you are choosing to spend this money so your wedding looks and feels how you want it to.

Post # 34
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I will love the gift. Don’t think too much.

Post # 35
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

The jewelry and bag is a gift and is a perfectly acceptable gift. IMO the bridesmaid gift should reflect the effort maid by the bridesmaids and by your description you’re doing that and then some. With the minimal “job description” of show up and walk in a line I don’t really think gifts are necessary at all. If you were one to expect your bridesmaids to go all out: $400 dresses, hair and makeup to specs, bridal shower with 100 guests, weekend long bachlorette, diy centerpieces for 50 tables, etc then I would say if you are of the opinion that this is a high end “job” then it should come with a high end personalized gift. And this may be the difference where you are seeing people getting expensive personal gifts. 

Post # 36
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

This is a perfect gift! 

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