(Closed) Is my girlfriend trying to give me a hint?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

She’s so lying to you! She likes looking at that kind of stuff because thats what she wants

Post # 17
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

finneganjoyce:  wow dudes really are clueless haha. Of course she said she only wants marriage if you do as she doesn’t want to seem like she’s pushing you or pressuring you. She’s taken the first step now it’s your turn to bring it up with your opinion. How old are you guys And how long have you been together?

Post # 18
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m struggling to believe you are that obtuse!

How do you feel about it? Are you hoping she does want to get engaged but fearful of being disappointed and feeling foolish if she doesn’t? Or are you hoping she doesn’t want to get engaged so you can carry on as you are? 

By commenting on the wedding stuff she’s been sending you and then asking if there was something she wanted to talk about with you, you backed her into a corner where she basically had to ask if you want to marry her (virtually a proposal!) or bat it away. She will have been a bit panicked by your head-on approach. It wasn’t very inviting, romantic or encouraging. You could start talking about your 5 year goals or something as a starting point. 

You don’t have to want to get engaged just because she does, but you need to decide and communicate whether it’s a yes, a no, or an almost-certainly-yes but I’m not quite there yet even though I can’t imagine being without you. 

Good luck and please try to tread a little more delicately!

Post # 19
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 1984

finneganjoyce:  I agree with previous posters. Wake up and smell the coffee and be honest with her.

Post # 20
Member
3464 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Oh boy…. Wake up! She wants to get married and you’re off in la la land. you need to really talk to her, and discuss where the relationship is going. No girl sends you threads from the bee and all that other wedding related stuff if she doesn’t want to get married. 

Post # 21
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like you both have a bit of maturing to do before you ought to be thinking about marriage. If you are dancing around this, playing games, and can’t speak directly and honestly to each other I really don’t think the best decision is a lifelong commitment.

Post # 23
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Holly Hedge Estate

is this a troll?

Post # 24
Member
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Don’t be so gullible… She is lying to you. If you guys can’t have a real conversation about this it’s probably a good thing that marriage isn’t in your future soon because you guys are too immature.

Post # 25
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I actually think your girlfriend is being the ridiculous one here.  Yes she is dropping hints, if you’re anything like my guy (I assume you’re a guy?) you like things written out for you and you like people being direct.  Women get this way and even though I’m a woman I don’t get it.  I don’t get the “I’m going to drop hints and see if he gets it” or the game playing.  I ESPECIALLY don’t understand when a woman is subtly dropping hints but then she gets mad when her guy doesn’t “get it”.  Granted these aren’t subtle hints, however she’s being really stupid by saying it doesn’t mean anything.  She needs to woman up and TALK TO YOU.  I don’t think she is ready for marriage if she can’t come out and talk to you about this, so I would suggest not getting engaged just yet until she can use her words and talk to you.

Post # 26
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

ljm308:  

Agreed. She sounds like the ridiculous actor in this play.

 

 

To the OP:

Sure, she might have lied because she felt threatened or embarrassed when you asked if there was something she wanted to talk about considering the wedding theme hints. Sure, you might have taken the opportunity to be proactive and forthcoming about your feelings and goals toward a long-term commitment with her. Your not taking the opportunity to give her your current life plan about love and marriage doesn’t mean you were in the wrong, though.

She should be able to be proactive and forthcoming, too, imo; she should stand by her words and if the explanations she gave are misleading (or incomplete) then that’s on her.

If it were me, I’d continue dating and see how things go, while maybe not letting so many hints pile up before talking about it?

 

 

Post # 27
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

 

finneganjoyce:  OMG I really hope this is a troll because I don’t want to believe anyone is this blind.  Did you even hear what she said?  She wants marriage but doesn’t want to pressure you because she wants you to want it too.  The ball is in your court, man.  I really feel for your gf honestly you’re clueless

Post # 28
Member
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

The good news about your obtuseness and her indirect machinations is it looks like it’s working to keep two people who can’t communicate from getting married too soon. Phew!

Post # 29
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

loveisbrewing:  …so you think it’s ok the girlfriend is dancing around this and not coming out and TALKING to him?  SHE is the one playing games.  No these hints aren’t subtle, but at the same time it’s INSANELY immature of her to send him wedding boards and ring pictures and then when he asks her what it means she says “nothing”.  Absolutely ridiculous.  Guys like things to be direct and she obviously is not ready for marriage because she can’t use her words and come out to say what she is really thinking.

Post # 30
Member
1353 posts
Bumble bee

I think one of two things could have happened.

She may have expected that you bring it up directly – not “is there anything you want to talk about”. She wants confirmation that you WANT to marry her before discussing it openly. Probably for fear of rejection.

OR she’s expecting a surprise proposal and doesn’t think it should be discussed beforehand.

The topic ‘Is my girlfriend trying to give me a hint?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors