Post # 1
I think what I really need from this post is some reassurance…lol.
I just finished making mailing labels for our STDs which I will send out later this week. We are having our wedding in a venue that will hold no more than 200 people. From a financial standpoint, it would be awesome if no more than 160-180 showed up for the wedding, but the more then merrier, right?
Anyway, I have been pulling in names and addresses from my parents, my Fiance, and my FI’s parents…trying to acommodate all of the guests that they want to be invited.
Last night, I counted the number of guests slotted to receive STDs that I will be sending out, and the total comes up to 196 (plus 12 additional +1’s), giving me a total of 208 people! Yikes!
I’m totally freaking out now because this doesn’t even include the 10 people on my “B-list” (which is really just a list of people I really do love and plan to invite anyway…).
Can someone reassure me that not all these people will be able to attend the wedding? I’m not sure if it would be stupid of me to invite > 200 people when I KNOW my venue can’t hold them all. Should I not send out STDs to more than 200 guests? I think I read once that you should never count on people to not show up, but at the same time I don’t know how to decide who gets cut from the list at this point.
Thanks in advance for the input.
Hoping for declines…
Post # 3
You should really plan on every guest attending when you send an invitation, and not over-invite. If you send out too many invitations, and then all say yes, what are you going to do? Call some people and un-invite them? Not have seats for them?
Post # 4
never invite more than your venue can hold. its a recipe for disaster. Just wait and see who RSVPs no, then invite from your B list
Post # 5
You’ll definitely have at least 8 people decline. I think 208 is a pretty safe number if you can have 200 show up.
We had a pretty high number of acceptance for our wedding invites (we only invited best friends and close relatives), but we still had 10% decline.
Post # 6
You’ll almost certainly get some no rsvp’s 🙂
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice…I thought I’d read that tip before…Ughh…maybe I’ll try to limit the +1s. At least for the STD, it just goes out to the main person, so they really don’t know yet if they can bring their significant other.
Post # 8
That’s reassuring…I’m also (secretly) counting on the fact that a large portion of my friends are, like me, in the healthcare profession in various cities around the country and will be on call that weekend….lol.
Post # 9
I agree with abbie, but you know your guest list better than us. I KNOW my aunt, uncle, and cousin will not be able to drive east and another uncle and cousin won’t come. I am also pretty positive the 10 or so international friends that Fiance has won’t fly in (a couple might) and his 10 friends from 3000+ miles away might not make the flight (a couple might). Out of the 20 friend invites, I would be shocked if 5 come. Out of the family invites on that side 12 will be invited, 4 may show up (but probably 2).
So what we are doing is sending out the save the dates to those who we must invite and absolutely want there. We are sending out 180 (if we don’t give plus ones) for a maximum capacity of 185. We are timing them to hit the week of Thanksgiving to get a sense of who is planning on coming through verbal RSVPs. Once we get a sense of how many nos, we will figure out how many +1s to give (everyone or just committed relationships) and how many of the other 20 or so we can invite. We also will over-buy invites and send them out as soon as we get regrets.
Post # 10
Never invite more than you can comfortably pay for and your venue can hold. I’d go through the list again and subtract people because if everyone says yes you’ve got a huge problem. I keep getting told about 20 people won’t come. When I had 90 people on my guest list my venue estimated my wedding costs based on 70 people and said the number could increase when the final count came in or decrease. But I’m well within the amount of people my venue can hold (like 160 I think). Even with what our list is up to now (around 114ish) we’re still well within the capacity of the venue. Think of it like this….if a place can hold 200 people….that’s its max. May not be able to move as freely or have as much dancing space if you cap it off at the top
Post # 11
Don’t invite more than your venue can hold. And if you REALLY can’t afford to have more than 180 people, don’t invite more than 180 people. I’ve seen too many bees on here freaking out about their numbers. Chances are, not all those people will come, but what will you do if they do? Not worth the risk, in my opinion.
Post # 12
Great point! I refuse to have a cramped dance floor!
Post # 13
You’re right…I’m going to go through and scrutinize the lists once more….I’ll cap off save the dates to no more than 200 guests…And hopefully I’ll get some verbal “sorry, can’t make that date”s before it’s time to send out invitations.
Post # 14
I think it really depends on your guests. You’ve got to know your people.
For example, I have a ton of family back east but they are not well off and we were having a small wedding. I knew I had to invite them, because you can’t just not invite your aunts and uncles, especially when you know one of them plans to attend. But I was 100% sure that all 30 of my clan wasn’t going to trek out to California. The invite was just a social nicety. So I automatically counted that about 20 on my list wouldn’t come.
So while it’s true that you shouldn’t just automatically plan for 15% not to come or something like that, it’s always got to be based on common sense and word of mouth.