Post # 1
My husband and I just had our one year anniversary, and I feel like this year has been so. Freaking. Hard.
It feels like my husband and his mother are the ones who are married and I’m just off to the side. Whenever I try to tell him how I feel about it, he gets angry and defends his mom. He refuses to have any discussion about it. His mom flat out stated that she doesn’t like me. She is so rude to me and tells him lies to try and make him mad at me. I think I deserve an answer from him as to why she treats me like that and what I ever did to her to deserve that, but he won’t tell me. It was like overnight something clicked and she decided she didn’t like me anymore, but I missed out on the event that made her decide that.
It’s a losing battle. It’s so sad. Everyone always talks about how great it is to be newly weds, but it sure doesn’t feel that way. 😥
Post # 2
Check out https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation
He married you – that means you and he are a team. He needs to put you first. If he can’t or won’t there is always annulment or divorce. The fact that he is tolerating his mom lying about you is unthinkable.
Post # 3
This isn’t a newly wed issue this is a your husband is being a momma’ boy issue. The two of you should be a team – a two person team that his mother is not a part of. He should have your back and stand up for you when his mother is rude or says unkind things about you.
I would suggest marriage counseling because if he won’t communicate with you then you will never be able to resolve this issue.
Post # 4
Thank you for that link!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
hadn’t suggested DWIL, I would have! The ladies there can seem harsh but they will give you seriously good advice. Have you reminded your husband of the part in his vows when he said he’d put you first?
Post # 6
DWIL. Stat. Your marriage isn’t going to survive this if you don’t act now.
Post # 7
R/justnomil is good too (on Reddit).
Post # 8
I’m sorry sweetie but this doesn’t sound hopeful. I don’t even know that counselling is an option here when your husband is so closed minded and refusing to discuss or work on things. If his mother is flat out rude to you and openly dislikes you and your husband not only doesn’t stand up for you but gets angry and dismissive when you try talking to him, then you’re best to just cut your losses and get out of this toxic no-win situation.
Divorce sucks, even if it’s more the loss of your hopes and dreams than the actual loss of him- but a lifetime with Norman and Norma Bates would suck far worse than a divorce you can move on from.