(Closed) Is my husband or the girl out of line?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
366 posts
Helper bee

bobsgirl2007:  husband is definitely the one I would be having an issue with. You already told him you didn’t feel comfortable and he comprehends, or else he wouldn’t have asked if youd like him to stop all contact, so why is he going out drinking with her alone? That to me says, yeah I heard you when you said you didn’t like it, but I also don’t really care. 

id have another chat and tell him what you really mean this time around. or else to deal with it if you cant be honest with him.

Post # 3
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Gaelic Park

If you told him you feel uncomfortable, then he should by no means be close to her anymore let alone out with her alone. This is 100% not ok. Out of respect for you and your marriage, he should back off from her. I had a similar situation and put a stop to it real quick. 

Post # 4
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m curious on how her husband feels about this. Espcially if your husband is her mentor, if anything happens- or just if she caims something happened- he could be in direct violation to HR policies. For the work aspect he is skating on thin ice.

For the home aspect he is off worse. He is ignoring your feelings whether you are present or not and you when you are there. That is incredibly rude. 

Post # 8
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Oh honey, that sucks! He would be in the doghouse for sure. 

While understandable having words while he is intoxicated may not end well. Tomorrow though the gloves are off…

Post # 9
12128 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Your husband does not need to be this coworker’s emotional support and you don’t have to approve or be okay with it. There is also no reason he needs to go out drinking or anywhere else alone with this woman. If I were you, I’d stop trying to be the cool wife.

Tell him to put her in a cab or have her call another friend. 

Post # 10
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

He knows that you are uncomfortable and is out until 2:30 in the morning having drinks with her? I say that you need to talk to him, I can’t see any benefits from talking to her. Maybe she just needs a friend, but she has other friends she can lean on instead of keeping your husband out until that hour and getting drunk to the point where he needs to drive her home.

I would definitely feel uncomfortable even if I did not feel threatened by the woman.

Post # 12
2961 posts
Sugar bee

He has to stop seeing her.  I fail to see why anyone’s husband needs to regularly drink alone with another woman until 2am and beyond.

She doesn’t need a wingman.  She doesn’t need his help to find a boyfriend.  She doesn’t need to discuss work until the early hours.  She doesn’t need to hang out with a married man while his wife is worrying at home.  

Make this clear to him.  He has listened to you but not stopped meeting her therefore he needs to stop contact because he has to put his marriage first.  

Instead he should be taking you out.

Also, he is drinking unhealthily.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  .
Post # 15
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Your husband is the one who’s out of line here. He made a vow to you and has a relationship to you. It’s his responsibility to honor these things. What this other woman is doing may or may not be disrespectful to you and/or your husband, but she’s not throne who deserves 95% of your (totally rightful) anger. That’s on your husband, who is in complete control of his actions. 

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