Post # 1
My husband has been going out every week to go drinking with “coworkers” and people he mentors usually once a week or atleast twice monthly where he comes home not completely drunk but he’s home by 2am or later. there is a girl (newly separated from husband) at work he’s friends with who tonight is the only person he’s drinking with.
I like her (my husband kept encouraging us to hang out) and we became friends quickly but for the first time we hung out together as a trio, I felt weird As FOCK I felt like I was the third wheel on their effin date. They didn’t flirt but they acted like I wasn’t even there. They talked about work, coworkers, work programs, mentor programs, etc. Things I couldn’t even chime in on even if I wanted to. I’m a really chatty person but I was dead silent during that entire dinner. I shouldve walked out and see if he even focking noticed. I told my husband I feel threatened by her I felt like third wheel. He asked if I wanted to stop all contact. I said no but i do not feel comfortable with how much they have in common.
That was last month and tonight they are out together alone drinking. We have never cheated on each other. I have never ever felt threatened by the dozens of female friends he’s had. This is the only one. I’m not sure why. I feel like it’s only a matter of time this becomes emotional cheatig and god knows what else. Advice? Thoughts?
BTW why hasn’t weddingbee fixed this autocorrect crap. It takes im and corrects it to mom. Wtf? It will autocorrect a normal word and misspells it into jibberish
This topic was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by bobsgirl2007.
This topic was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by bobsgirl2007.
Post # 2
bobsgirl2007: husband is definitely the one I would be having an issue with. You already told him you didn’t feel comfortable and he comprehends, or else he wouldn’t have asked if youd like him to stop all contact, so why is he going out drinking with her alone? That to me says, yeah I heard you when you said you didn’t like it, but I also don’t really care.
id have another chat and tell him what you really mean this time around. or else to deal with it if you cant be honest with him.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - Gaelic Park
If you told him you feel uncomfortable, then he should by no means be close to her anymore let alone out with her alone. This is 100% not ok. Out of respect for you and your marriage, he should back off from her. I had a similar situation and put a stop to it real quick.
Post # 4
I’m curious on how her husband feels about this. Espcially if your husband is her mentor, if anything happens- or just if she caims something happened- he could be in direct violation to HR policies. For the work aspect he is skating on thin ice.
For the home aspect he is off worse. He is ignoring your feelings whether you are present or not and you when you are there. That is incredibly rude.
Post # 5
That’s exactly what I said to him rgb316! I’m glad I’m not the crazy one here and you agree it’s inappropriate!
HolaMarcia I’ve had atleast two talks since last month about how uncomfortable it feels.
im worried that if I tell him he can’t hang out with her after work it’s like telling a person don’t touch the wall it has wet paint and you want to touch it even more.
we have been together for nearly 9 years only married for 3. I texted her and him they are not responding. I’m tired of this bullshit he said he wanted to help her get a guy and was playing wingman. Bullshitttt
a wingman would’ve done his job and left instead he stayedentire time! It’s 2:25am still not home or texting me back
Post # 6
theatrejulia: she is newly separated. Her husband left her and she’s been sad. So that’s why I didn’t oppose to him hanging out with her at first. now it’s straight up pissing me off
im not mad at her I’m furious at him
Post # 7
He said he’s taking her home cuz she’s drunk wtf?
Post # 8
Oh honey, that sucks! He would be in the doghouse for sure.
While understandable having words while he is intoxicated may not end well. Tomorrow though the gloves are off…
Post # 9
Your husband does not need to be this coworker’s emotional support and you don’t have to approve or be okay with it. There is also no reason he needs to go out drinking or anywhere else alone with this woman. If I were you, I’d stop trying to be the cool wife.
Tell him to put her in a cab or have her call another friend.
Post # 10
He knows that you are uncomfortable and is out until 2:30 in the morning having drinks with her? I say that you need to talk to him, I can’t see any benefits from talking to her. Maybe she just needs a friend, but she has other friends she can lean on instead of keeping your husband out until that hour and getting drunk to the point where he needs to drive her home.
I would definitely feel uncomfortable even if I did not feel threatened by the woman.
Post # 11
Yeah I’m ready to tear him a new one and then we are going to counseling cuz he can’t get it through his thick skull this is inappropriate
its hilarious but his family thinks he’s a saint and can’t do any wrong maybe that’s why he thinks this is ok.
Can someone define emotional cheating my friend who I confided in tonight said she doesn’t believe there is such a thing
i think right now there’s emotional cheating going on and it’s only a matter of time before things progress
Shes vulnerable and my husband is a dumbshit thinking this is innocent and trying to convince me of his buklshit
Post # 12
He has to stop seeing her. I fail to see why anyone’s husband needs to regularly drink alone with another woman until 2am and beyond.
She doesn’t need a wingman. She doesn’t need his help to find a boyfriend. She doesn’t need to discuss work until the early hours. She doesn’t need to hang out with a married man while his wife is worrying at home.
Make this clear to him. He has listened to you but not stopped meeting her therefore he needs to stop contact because he has to put his marriage first.
Instead he should be taking you out.
Also, he is drinking unhealthily.
Post # 14
Thank you ladies for taking the time to hear me vent and respond. He keeps apologizing but it means nothing just empty words cuz he’ keeps doing it
Post # 15
Your husband is the one who’s out of line here. He made a vow to you and has a relationship to you. It’s his responsibility to honor these things. What this other woman is doing may or may not be disrespectful to you and/or your husband, but she’s not throne who deserves 95% of your (totally rightful) anger. That’s on your husband, who is in complete control of his actions.