(Closed) Is my husband or the girl out of line?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 136
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

bobsgirl2007:  Good job.  This made me mad for you as I read and caught up.  I wish you all the best!  Frankly, this scenario the other night would have used up any and all trust reserves for me.  It wouldn’t have mattered if there was physical cheating.  It was set up that way and he was unresponsive to you and your needs, and he intentionally continued on.  I really hope some counseling for you both gives you the right next steps.

Randomly–am I the only one that’s noticed guys tend to use the line “I think you should meet her because I think you’d really like her” for girls they actually have a thing for?

 My brothers used to do this and I finally caught on that when I met a girl they’d said that about, then they always wanted to know later what I thought about her (and all three married the last girls they said that about 🙂  ).  

And I noticed a pattern that my husband would say it before I met a couple female friends or coworkers who I, ironically enough, didn’t like or didn’t feel like we had anything in common or even felt like things were inappropriate between them.  The female friends and coworkers of his I do really like and enjoy being around didn’t get such an introduction.  It wasn’t any sort of big deal.  So anyway, this is dumb, but now I feel very alerted whenever husband or a guy says it about a girl.

Post # 138
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

bobsgirl2007:  

So sorry to hear 🙁 
that said, if he really loved you and cared, this whole going out with a girl till 4am thing wouldn’t even be an issue. He’d be at home with you.

Find someone who really DOES love you, no question.

Post # 139
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

bobsgirl2007:  I’m sorry Bee. Is he still willing to go to counselling to talk this through>?

Post # 140
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

bobsgirl2007:  Wow. That really sucks and I feel bad for you that the current relationship you have with your husband is like a mother-son/boy relationship. Your husband is a boy and needs to man up. I would be so repelled and disgusted to be in a relationship with a boy and someone who I cannot trust and count on, but have to babysit and set rules like this.  Ugh your husband is repulsing to me. 

Post # 141
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

gatordeb:  It’s horribly rude to exclude someone in your company from a conversation.

Post # 142
Member
6657 posts
Bee Keeper

bobsgirl2007:  So sad to hear this. He doesn’t deserve you. 

Post # 143
Member
910 posts
Busy bee

He’s hoping you will change your mind about the boundaries and go back to letting him do what he wants. It’s interesting that the minute you set boundaries (which you shouldn’t have to), he no longer loves you. He’s a manipulator. Don’t let him break you Bee.

Post # 144
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

bobsgirl2007:  I’m so sorry.

I also wouldn’t believe what he says about just being s mentor to his coworker. 

Post # 145
Member
258 posts
Helper bee

Your husband is such a piece of sh*t, I’m so sorry bee.  Reading this made me so so mad on your behalf.  I really hope you leave his a$$ and move on to greener pastures.  *hugs*

Post # 146
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

bobsgirl2007:  Oh I’m so sorry to hear that.

But now it’s time to be tough. See a lawyer and kick him out ASAP.

Post # 147
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

WTF!? Good riddance, take him for all he’s worth. How long were u married? Im so mad for you! 

Post # 148
Member
11642 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

bobsgirl2007:  you have been through the wringer and now this. I’m so sorry bee. 

Your soon to be ex is a POS though, and when you find the guy who makes you feel like s million bucks this will all make you shake your head and wonder why you out up with any of his crap. 

Post # 149
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - City, State

Prayers and love to you in this hard time, bee. Have to copy the rest of the gals who stated you will find someone who makes you feel like the most special human in the whole world. I have been through a very very similar situation with my ex boyfriend. He damaged me so badly, I still have trust issues and self esteem issues. Fiance is amazing to me, I can’t believe I ever thought my ex was the one..

Post # 150
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

morningcoffee:  I thought this too. This is a manipulation technique to make you feel like you are doing something wrong.  Deflecting the blame and distracting from his wrongdoing. Do not be fooled, bee. You know he is wrong,  and if he wants to walk,  don’t let the door hit him on the way out.

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