- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
OK, bees, I need some advice.
So, I am really close to both my parents, something that I think bothers husband a little. I swear I’m not like a daddy’s girl, and don’t start every sentence with, ‘well my parents say…’ but I know he gets annoyed when I go to my parents for advice or to vent instead of going to him. He likes my parents, but being close is a phenomenon he can’t really fathom as neither he nor his three siblings are super close to their parents.
Anyways, I am 31 weeks pregnant, and we just started talking about what’s going to happen come Sept. Now, I am planning on working up until the point I go in to labor, my husband works outdoors and does not have constant access to a phone, and my parents live 5 hours away and work full time, so it’s anyone’s guess as to what could happen when the time comes. However, I have always been planning on having both my mother and husband in the room with me. Nothing against my dad, I just don’t want too many people in there and think my mom would probably want to be there, whereas I don’t think my dad would be.
Husband just told me this weekend he wants it to be just him and me in the delivery room and doesn’t want any visitors right away-like immediately after the birth. I balked right away, because even if my parents don’t make it to the delivery (if it happens before they can get up there) I’d want to see them as soon as they made it and vice versa.
Now, I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I want my mom there (assuming that will be possible), and I think as I am the one in labor, my needs trump his. On the other hand, it’s not that he doesn’t want her there because he doesn’t like her. He wants this opportunity to be the supportive one (he is not terribly sensitive and can be SUCH a guy sometimes) and have me depend on him instead of my parents, and I think he feels having someone else there will take that away from him. I mean, I can’t see him being that good in the L&D room honestly, but if he could, that is certainly something I’d like to see. If he can really step up and say the right things and be helpful, then maybe I’d consider having it just be the two of us.
What do you guys think? Am I taking something away from him by insisting my mother be there? Will he be more grateful than he realizes by having someone else there? Will I care when it comes time?