(Closed) Is my man all talk and no action?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What should I do?
    You need to light a fire under his you know what : (24 votes)
    59 %
    Chillax, everything will happen in due time, just a bit longer than you think : (12 votes)
    29 %
    Other - feel free to expound in your comment :) : (5 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 4
    899 posts
    Busy bee

    When exactly will this all happen? That sounds like a very short time frame! I’d sit down with him and figure out what he’s thinking.

    Post # 5
    4998 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    How long have you been together?

    Post # 8
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    Sounds like he REALLY doesn’t understand how long all of those things take. They’re not quick errands by any means. Maybe talk it out a little more and explain the timing.

    Post # 10
    899 posts
    Busy bee

    Girl, guys can be really dense when it comes to the details of everything having to do with women. It really sounds like you need to sit down with him and explain things. Geez, at 38, he needs to get it together. But I keep waiting for that magic age with men when they seem to have it much more significantly together and that age never comes. 

    And you do NOT sound crazy, not even a little.

    Post # 11
    8036 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @MissMeowMeow:  Depends on the wedding you want. For most ‘traditional’ weddings, you need to book venues a year in advance. I believe that most dresses need to be ordered 8 months+ before.

    If you’re happy eloping or going to city hall, then I’d say it’s doable.

    Can you try and get him to give you more details? it would tick me off having to do everything on his timeline. Getting married should be a mutual decision and it sounds like he’s stringing you along even if he isn’t meaning to.

    How set are you on TTC exactly on your birthday? I’d probably make sure I was at least married first. And moving can be hard when you’re pregnant.

    Post # 12
    63 posts
    Worker bee

    Light a fire! Seems like he doesn’t realise how long all those things are going to take and as much as I agree with him about doing everything in the “right” order he needs to get his a$$ in gear and start making it happen!

    Post # 14
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    7 months ago he said he was having a ring made and you haven’t seen it yet?? I’d have a little “come to Jesus meeting” with your guy. I’m a super liberal but not a believer in TTC without marriage and yes I AM old. Neither of you is at an age where you have much time to wait. CLocks are ticking. I had my kids at 31 & 37 so don’t think I’m rushing you, but TTC can be difficult as you get older. Tell him: “This is how you keep me – I need a ring, engagement and marriage plans in the works by the end of November. I need to believe what you say by showing me you’re serious.” By 38 he should have a lot of things in his life together: a good job, a house etc. or he may not be father/husband material. Other than the job, you can build those other things together as a married couple before TTC. The reason I believe in being married before bringing a child into the picture is that I believe that a man who can’t make a marriage commitment isn’t likely to be able to make a parental commitment. Also, I think a man should want to legally protect the mother of his child in ways that are easier found through marriage. 

    Post # 16
    3419 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    Maybe you should ask him instead about the job and house then the ring. For us it was talking about moving out of state that got him talking about making the next step

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