(Closed) Is my MOH jealous or just looking out for me?

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
Post # 31
22 posts
  • Wedding: Fearrington Village

I think she is jealous. She and her husband didn’t give each other gifts for their wedding. She has houses on the brain. While it’s important to spend within your means, part of friendship is appreciating the line between counseling your friends and celebrating their good fortune. It sounds like she wants you to be in her shoes and steering you towards the choices she has made, whether that is what is best for you or what will make you happy. Maybe she feels defensive because she feels like she’s losing a friend or having financial troubles but if her behavior doesn’t shape up, she may not be great friend material for you moving forward. 

Gift giving is a perfectly normal tradition that many couples enjoy. It is completely up to the couple what or if they decide to do it and I am surprised that someone in your wedding party, especially your MoH, would criticize your choice. 

Post # 32
6846 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

She’s concentrating on HER priorities and transferring that attitude to you, which is totally unfair. SHE is focusing on the house, etc., but that is no reason for you and your Fiance/DH not to exchange gifts for your wedding (DH and I did, too). I would politely tell her that you are happy she did things the way she wanted and is now focusing on the house, but that you are going to do things your way. You and Fiance sound excited about the watches, so GET them. Don’t let this woman make you doubt yourself; you know what is right for you much more than she does.

Post # 33
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I don’t think she sounds jealous… overly opinionated sure but not jealous.


That said, get your damned fiance a watch and who cares what she thinks? Do you need an excuse to buy him presents ever? of course not! You’re doing it for him because you love him, if you had the money at Christmas and weren’t getting married, would you still consider it? Of Course! She’s just being silly, ignore her and move on! I think a gift to each other for your wedding is a beautiful thing to do! 

side note: I’m Canadian, all the married couples I know sent gifts and a card to each other the morning of to be opened while getting ready. It’s really nice 🙂

Post # 34
49 posts
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
jdeleon14255:  you don’t need a reason to give a gift. If you feel like doing it and can afford it, do it.  why not?  

Post # 35
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Just ignore her and do whatever you want to do. Your finances are none of her business. If you’re worried about what she’ll say to you, just stop sharing information with her.

Just curious, is she Filipino too? I only ask because I come from a Filipino family as well and Filipinos in general like to get up in everyone else’s business lol

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