(Closed) Is my mom overstepping her boundaries?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

This whole situation is a bit nuts. You’re not really responsible for anyone’s hair besides your own– if you don’t want your guest to do everyone’s hair, and she only offered to do yours, I think they just need to make their own arrangements.

You could also ask your guest if she’s comfortable with doing everyone’s hair and explain the situation to her, and she might be nice enough to say yes. Let her know you understand entirely if she’d rather not, and if that’s the case, it’s every gal for herself.

Post # 3
Member
9978 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t think your mom is being ridiculous. It sounds like she made a suggestion and you are overreacting. I’m guessing she thought it would be fun to get a little pampering done and have someone do her hair. Even if she can do it herself, sometimes it’s nice to let someone else do it.

Personally, I don’t think it would be a big deal to offer to pay your friend to do everyone’s hair. 

Post # 4
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is way, way simpler than you’re making it. 

Are you able to pay the guest a reasonable fee, and would you feel comfortable *asking* her if she would be willing to do the hair of 3 extra people? 

If your answer to either of these is ‘no’ then keep her as your stylist and tell your BMs and your mom that they’ll have to figure something else out.  

There’s one other option, which is call the salon and ask if they have any stylists that would be able to come to your suite privately to do your BM’s and mom’s hair. Many of them would probably jump at the chance to make some extra $$. 

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

The problem here isn’t your mother overstepping her boundaries, it’s that you don’t appear to have set any clear boundaries on this topic.

In your shoes, I’d have simply said no when she asked if your stylist could do her hair too, and explained that she is invited as a guest, not a vendor, and you don’t feel comfortable asking your guest to work all day.

As it stands, I would simply tell her she needs to make her own arrangements, although it would be nice if you provided her with details of any mobile stylists or the nearest salons. Same goes for your Bridesmaid or Best Man. Your guest offered to do your hair, and your hair only. 

Post # 6
Hostess
9127 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
cmm067:  I would ask your friend is she would consider doing everyone hair and how much money would she like. Deal with that first, then you know what your options are.

Post # 8
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

to be honest your mom will probably be in a lot more pictures/ spotlight than your Bridesmaid or Best Man (especially 10 years or so down the road when its likely you would still be displaying a family photo but pics of your bridal party will probably be long packed up) so I can see why your mom wants to look her best (not just “fine”)

I would try to call around and see what other options there are (or ask friend if she knows anyone or is interested in taking the job) so that hair was available to anyone who wanted it

Post # 11
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
cmm067:  Ahh I see, perhaps I mis-read your post, apologies. 

I guess the only advice I have for when someone is stuck between a rock and a hard place, is to find the path of least resistance.

You could see if your Bridesmaid or Best Man would give up her space for your mother.

You could call your hair stylist friend and ask if she knows of anyone locally that could come in to do your mother’s hair.

You could attempt to locate a mobile stylist yourself on your mothers behalf.

It really depends on what makes you feel the most comfortable/ least uncomfortable in the situation.

Post # 12
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

View original reply
cmm067:  in that case all the more reason for everyone to feel beautiful the day of…. call your friend and see if she knows someone who might be into traveling or check into some of the salons locally (even if they don’t seem like much) perhaps one of the stylists from the place you liked ended up there

or try something like thumbtack where you can get a bunch of bids

Post # 14
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
cmm067:  Well I really hope that you manage to find a solution that works for everyone -Just think of it as one more annoyance in the process that is wedding planning, but soon you will be married and none of it will matter anymore ๐Ÿ˜Š

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