(Closed) is my relationship over?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I just quoted this song but, ‘there’s a fine line between love and a waste of time’!

It’s not a waste if you learn something. Now you know what it feels like to be disrespected. The next guy that comes along might not disrespect you in the same ways, but you will know how you *feel* when he does it. You’ve also learned you can teach a man to respect you, or be paitent enough or love him enough. He either does or doesn’t.

I’m glad he was an ass and gave you time to realize you can survive without him (you loved him, but you love yourself MORE). Time to do the hard things like UnFriend him on FB or block his number. It will be hard to move on when he’s constantly trying to reconnect. You will feel like you are being mean, but you aren’t. You are taking care of yourself.

I know you are strong enough!!

Post # 62
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My husband and I were both in other LDR relationships before we met each other, and the death knell for those relationships (each one being an engagement and a relationship of two years or more) was when the other person found reasons to not call or communicate for periods of over a week. In both cases, our fiances were spending time with other people, not physically cheating…yet, but thinking about it. When I broke up with my fiance he ran off and slept with several women, but when I started dated my current husband he called me up and was upset with me for dating someone when he still wanted to come home and marry me eventually! He thought I would take him back! My husbands fiance also was upset with him for breaking up with her and moving on. People like that want to have their cake and eat it to, but we are so much happier with each other and so much better off. I was heartbroken and humiliated, but my life is so much better now and I have a husband who makes me feel loved and precious every day. You will find your soul mate and you will look back on this time and be glad for it.

Post # 63
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sunshine82: Please be strong and stay far, far away from this awful man. You deserve so much more.

Post # 64
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

He is probably doing the exact things that he is accusing you of.  That’s usually how it works.  He wants you to beg him back?  Puh-lease – he should be begging you back after all the nasty things he has said to you.  He just wants to blame this break up on you so you feel bad…but it’s really all on him.  He is scapegoating you so he doesn’t have to take any heat.  I’d run away from this one.

Post # 65
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@BackyardLoveBird: Word. The whole accusations of cheating, etc. (when you’re clearly not) is an example of deflecting it away from himself. When anyone accuses that, it’s usually a good indication that they themselves are doing it, not you.

Post # 66
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@sunshine82: think about it this way – did you learn at least one thing from this relationship, that you can take into your next that will make it better? As long as you did, then you didn’t waste 2 years. I was with a guy for 3.5 years before hubs, and I thought I was going to marry him. When we broke up, I couldnt’ believe how much of my life I had wasted on him!! But you know what? I learned so many things NOT to do in my next relationship, that when I started dating hubs, things were so much easier. And I realized, hell, I learned something, so it wasn’t a waste, it was an education period! 

((HUGS)) you will get through this, and be a better person in the end. You will find an amazing man who treats you and your family right, and you will look back on this time and be so thankful that you were treated like shit, because you can now appreciate a good man.

But for now, have fun being single!!! Do for YOU, and before you know it, someone spectacular will come along and sweep you off your feet 🙂

Post # 67
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@sunshine82: He sounds like a complete psycho.  You’re doing the right thing by not taking him back.  Honestly, good riddance. 

Post # 68
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“is my relationship over?”

 

yes.

 

This person does not want to marry you.  The whole thing sounds like teenage angst. Ridiculous.

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