(Closed) Is my roommate interested in my SO?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

paigey22:  the texting is a little strange. Have you discussed it with your boyfriend? Could you ask him to not be alone in the apt with your roommate? Perhaps you guys could start hanging out at his place more often?

Post # 3
759 posts
Busy bee

Ooooo boy. She seems a little shady, but your SO is doing a great job of discouraging her.

Given that you’re moving out in March, I’d just let it go. If you want to try to tactfully bring it up, you can, but she’ll just deny whatever you say to her and then it’ll be an awkward living arrangement for the next 4 months.

Maybe just try to spend more time at his place when the two of you hang out?

Post # 4
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

To me, it sounds like your roommate is latching on to your SO because she doesn’t really know many other people in town, and she’s lonely and trying to make friends. It’s not really clear if she’s flirting with him or just being nice but I don’t see anything major to be alarmed about, especially since your SO is making it clear that he is taken. I’d just see how things turn out.

Post # 5
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Your SO is very obviously not interested so I would not be worried. Her actions are annoying but I would say that as long as your SO keeps responding the way he is you should just let it go.

Post # 6
2024 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016


paigey22:  She needs to cut that shit out. You were right to insist that they aren’t in the apartment together and I agree with PP that maybe more time at his place is in order. March isn’t forever away but long enough to make this situation worse. good luck!

Post # 7
226 posts
Helper bee

A LOT can happen in 4 months.  I would nip this in the bud immediately.  Your roommate needs to know her boundaries.

Post # 8
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

paigey22:  I would have no problem calling B out on this. It’s one thing if he’s hanging in the apartment waiting for you and she is grabbing a drink next door with friends and says “hey, wanna join us and wait for paigey downstairs?” It’s another thing entirely for her to fb message him and demand that he text her just so she can offer him a drink. 

Sounds like you have a good guy and there’s no reason to move or kick her out, but if I were you I would absolutely say something like “so just for the record, that was kinda weird of you to make SO text you out of the blue and offer him a drink downtown.” At least put her on notice that SO is sharing that kinda stuff with you so she thinks twice next time. Hopefully she’ll be embarrassed too.

Good luck with that!

Post # 10
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

paigey22: agreed, she’s acting shady. It might be funny if you tell SO to meet her for that drink so he can play “haaaave you met B?” with all the other guys at the bar, while you just meet them there. 

But that’s just because I’m basic like that. 

Post # 12
992 posts
Busy bee


paigey22:  I had the same thought as Horseradish:  on this one…it just sounds like she is new in town and trying to make friends.

Honestly, if it were me in her shoes, I’d feel kinda awkward having your SO in my house (even though she’s just renting, it is her home, now, too) and simply ignoring him. Because of this, I’d make an effort to come out and say hi/start a conversation with him until you got home. Unless specifically told by either you or your SO that it’s bothering you, I’d just see it as being polite. Don’t get me wrong here–I don’t think it’s wierd for your SO to come over before you get home, I’m just saying that your roommate may not be entirely sure what her role is and may be trying to be a “hostess” for you.

Again, when it comes to the texts, it is definately wierd from your perspective, but it could be entirely innocent from hers. You told her that your SO didn’t want to have to drive home and needed to hang out in your room just to pass the time. She may have thought she was being helpful by offering a more fun alternative to hanging out alone in your bedroom.

If it’s bothering you this much, you may need to talk with her, but try not to make it sound like an accusation, because it could very well be innocent actions from a slightly socially-awkward individual.

Post # 13
992 posts
Busy bee


paigey22:  It took me long enough to reply that I didn’t see your responses above. That said, I would still be careful in your talk to keep in mind that accusing her of having bad intentions could ruin a friendship (and make your living arrangements really awkward) if it really is nothing more than an innocent attempt at friendship.

Post # 15
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA

*dont ignore your instincts*

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