(Closed) Is my sister right about the Bridal Shower?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite everyone? & should I include the registry information?
    Invite every female : (17 votes)
    8 %
    Only invite the ones close by : (46 votes)
    21 %
    Only invite the ones the Bride knows : (62 votes)
    29 %
    Include registry information : (73 votes)
    34 %
    Don't include registry information : (14 votes)
    7 %
    Other. Please Explain. : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I say only invite the people you know or want to be there.  I also believe in including the registry information so that the guests know where to buy your presents.

    Post # 4
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Registry info can go on shower invites, no question. That’s the easy part.

    Who to invite is a little less clear. Some people end up having multiple showers so that people in different locales can go to different ones. It’s all about who is willing to throw you one (it doesn’t have to be MOH). I opted for the ones close by since that’s been the case for almost all the showers I’ve been invited to and what I plan on doing for mine…

    Post # 5
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I had this fight with my mother, who is hosting my shower.  She said because of our “old-fashioned” family that if everyone was not included that they’d be mad so she invited 80+ people to the shower and is now having to track down the 40+ who are failing to RSVP.  I tried to explain to her that “now-a-days” it’s usually those closest to the bride who are invitied but she wouldn’t have it and I certainly didn’t want to upset anyone.

    I’d say do what works for you family, if you think that people would feel left out, then invite them.  People will send gifts if they feel like it, I wouldn’t take it as “gift-grabby” but I wouldn’t send one if I wasn’t that close to the bride/groom and couldn’t go.


    Edit:  I think it’s okay to include registry info since it’s someone else hosting

    Post # 6
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsMath:  I’ve always thought that showers should be intimate events.  For me, even though our guest list is going to get close to 200 I can’t imagine inviting more than 25-30.  If the only reason you’re not inviting people is distance, you might want to invite them and let them decide whether or not to attend.

    I personally would not include registry info on shower invites as I’ve heard the only acceptable way to communicate that is word of mouth if people ask you or family/bridal party about it. That being said you’re not the hostess, so I guess it is her call.  One thing I think you can add on the shower invites is a theme (like linens, kitchen utensils, or cooking) that might clue the guests in on what type of gifts might be most appropriate.

    Post # 7
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would only invite the people geographically closest to te shower, and please don’t put the registry info on the invite! People will know to ask your bridesmaids or you where you’re registered!

    Post # 8
    2488 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Everyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding,

    the other way around is not specific- however if I went to a wedding and found out I hadn’t been included in the shower invites( and I knew the bride personally  I would feel left out.)

    If I was you- I would 1. Invite all females from my side of the wedding guests and then I would invite his friends or family that I would be around or know, mostly this would be family, but maybe friends, but don’t invite his college roomates wife or something weird like that.

    And yes include the registry.

    Post # 9
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It may be different for different families.  In our family you invite all of the woman even if they are far away. My mom says its a courtesy invite. It has nothing to do with gifts. As far as the registry info, you can put it on the shower invite or your website. Its the only invitation where its acceptable. 

    Post # 11
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MrsMath:  is someone on his side throwing a shower? if so they don’t need to be invited to this one.

    Post # 13
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @MrsMath:  I know what you mean, I’m contemplating the same thing. I live in NJ, but I have friends and family scattered all over the country (Cousins in ME, CA, WA, OR, DE and friends in FL, VT, VA) I’m inviting my close friends (yes even the ones out of state) and the east coast cousins, if they can’t make it they won’t make it. 

    Post # 14
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    include registry information on the bridal invitation, not the actual wedding invitation, for the people coming to the wedding but not the bridal shower put your wedding website up there and put your registry on that.

    Post # 15
    10589 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I would invite all the females you are close to, regardless of where they live if you’re only having one shower.  You don’t want people to feel left out.  You could also ask someone like Future Sister-In-Law or Future Mother-In-Law about your future cousins.  Personally, I would invite cousins Darling Husband is close to, but if it’s a male cousin I would invite his girl friend he’s being seeing for a year or two.

    As for the registry information, you don’t put it one the invitation, the person hosting the shower does Wink

    Post # 16
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MrsMath:  Yes, your sister is right.  My vote is invite every female – if they can’t come, they will decline.  It’s quite simple.  And yes, always include registery info on the invites.

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