(Closed) Is my SO emotionally cheating on me? Am I overreacting?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 181
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

anonbeeme123:  Your are not overeacting.  I would be worried. I make it a point to share my communication with other guys with my fiancé.  Emotional faithfulness is as vital as physical faithfulness. He shouldn’t be sharing emotional intimacy with someone else especially when he should be prioritising you.

Post # 182
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Ew.

I was in your position once, after 4 years together he started this relationship (friendship) with this girl “who got him and they were really close”

 

It drove me crazy, it really upset me, I felt emotionally cheated on, he told me I was the crazy one, that nothing was going on, that I was wrong… I couldn’t take it, i ended things.

 

Guess who he was banging two weeks later.

Post # 183
Member
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Any update OP??

Post # 184
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Updates?

Post # 185
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

oh man I rember this thread… shes not coming back guys!! 🙁

Post # 186
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

ktsteimel:  Why do you say that? Do you think it ended, or the opposite? (I never get strong intuitions on this stuff.)

OP, please update! We all love updates. And you seemed so reasonable and clued in – it’d be nice to know how it worked out.

Post # 187
Member
3418 posts
Sugar bee

herrera2016:  totally agree. He’s not saying his best friend is his college roommate, or the girl next door that he grew up with, or his cousin, or somebody he interned with, or his girlfriend of 10 years, but rather a woman he works with and shares secret messages with. Huh.

Post # 188
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

gogglefruits:  Becuase multiple people asked her to update last week and she never did… I think we all lost hope!! But I’m still gonna follow the thread just in case….

Post # 189
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

ktsteimel:  So you don’t have any prophetic intuition on the outcome? Lol damn.

Yes, I certainly will too. I’ve also got my eye out for that year old thread with the recent tease post by the OP (it’s about the poster’s friend’s “nasty reaction” to her engagement). 

I guess this interest seems sort of gossipy, but I so love to know how the posters’ stories turn out. Otherwise it’s like reading a novel with the last chapter ripped out! Just when you’re all invested in the character…

I probably need a life, haha.

Post # 190
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

gogglefruits:  oh, I think I know the outcome, unfortunatly 🙁 I didnt the same thing for 2 years, forgiving my ex for having inappropriate female “friend” until 1 day it got to be too much and I said I’m done. 

Maybe OP was smarter than me tho and left him sooner… but I guess we’ll never know.

Post # 191
Member
697 posts
Busy bee

majorairhead:  +1

She should not be his best friend, that’s your job. And not to mention all of his sketchy behaviour. I’m sorry bee but I’d be running the other way from this one.

bye

Post # 192
Member
697 posts
Busy bee

heputaringonit:  Also in regards to what your saying I completely agree. My SO did the exact same thing for me, he told me he was having coffee with an ex (which I know I shouldn’t care because I trust him but I can just tell she’s still into him even though he ended their relationship ages ago and like 4 months before him and I even met) but I told him it made me very uncomfortable, at this he first offered to cancel plans with her, I told him not to because I trust him and didn’t want him to be rude, however ever since that day he’s hardly spoke to her except for like in passing if they run into eachother in town.

This being said and what I’m getting at after reading more of this thread is you definitely stop letting this doche walk all over you. If he really cared about your feelings, he would do as you asked. Or like in mine and heputaringonit’s case, just ask right off the bat if he should change anything.

Post # 193
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I went through a similar situation with my husband. He had an emotional affair with an ex girlfriend whilst we were dating, and I found out about it two years into our marriage. It felt like my whole world got turned upside down. Everything I had felt about our relationship (love, trust, fidelity)…many of the reasons I said yes to marriage, was shaken. I lost 25 lbs in a few months and couldnt stop feeling nauseous and throwing up. The doctors could find nothing wrong with me.

It is funny how it takes us finding out about it for it to come up. I wonder if he would ever have told me. Thankfully (from what he has told me) his affair ended when we got engaged, but I am still not sure I believe it was just emotional. Unfortunately there is only so long you can keep hashing up problems like this without it taking a toll on your marriage. I am just now starting to “get over the affair” (6 months later) but it has turned me from a confident wife into a jealous and suspicious one. I try hard to fight the feelings, and have sought therapy for it because I just have not gotten the closure I need from him. He shut down every time I brought it up and I had to drag answers out of him. It felt like pulling teeth. Eventually I resigned to the fact that he would never tell me what I wanted to hear. Which is why he could do something like that when we were “happy” enough that he put a ring on my finger a few months later. How could he betray our relatuonship that way and expect me to trust him? He argues it happened years ago and before we got married but that doesnt change that I just found out about it months ago.

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