(Closed) is my wedding not important?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
42 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

As long as your close family/friends and love are there on the big day everything will be great..

Post # 4
3311 posts
Sugar bee

If I were you, I would talk to those people and see if they are coming…

Post # 5
14014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just re-confirm that they’re counting for budgetary reasons, but not harp on it with them!  Enjoy all the guests who did make the effort to be there!

Post # 6
3694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You can ask to make sure they’re coming so you don’t pay for an empty chair.  Other than that – no, your wedding is not as important to anyone else as it is to you.  Just remember it’s for you and you’ll be throwing a great party for anyone who wants to show up.  Their loss if they don’t. 

I mean, if one of your friends goes on and on about their kids’ birthday party do you really care or do you just want to cut her off and say “so what Saturday do I have to cancel all my other plans to hang out with your family?”

Post # 7
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@rahrahrach:  If it bothers you, you need to confront the problem asap or live with it and deal with the possibility of regret. 

Post # 8
4462 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I felt this way a little too when I got married. I think the reason is because as the bride the wedding is so built up in our minds that we’re just like, whoa this is HUGE. But to everyone else it’s so totally not! The people that mattered to me (my mom, sister, husband, dad, and bridesmaids) came through for me and made me feel so special. The fact that a bunch of people I would’ve loved to have come ended up declining didn’t even matter in the end. 

Post # 9
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry, but I think you’re being unreasonable.  Your wedding is YOUR major life event, not everyone else’s.  I’d focus on the people who will be at the wedding and not worry about the others. 

Post # 11
2347 posts
Buzzing bee

Check with them to confirm headcounts, but leave the rest alone.

The closer our weddings get, the more they consume us. But for our friends, and even some family, it’s just something to do that day. They have stuff to do lots of days, and this doesn’t loom any larger than anything else. They have a whole month of meetings, and dates, and projects, and parties, and other things to do before your wedding.

Post # 12
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

One thing – I am not sure what the falling out with the July bride was about, but perhaps your mutual friends picked a side, and that side was not yours?  Any insight on that being the underlying problem if these friends are generally supportive or you and have been for other weddings?

Post # 14
899 posts
Busy bee

Something to consider too is the massive time and money commitment weddings seem to demand. Perhaps it’s simply a case of people being tapped out for time and money.

I generally decline invitations to bachelorette parties because I really don’t enjoy them and I don’t have a lot of time to spend with friends and family anyway. Much of the time I send a very nice gift rather than give up my time for a shower, too. Most brides don’t seem to understand that these parties are very unenjoyable for a lot of people.

As we get older, time is a hot commodity! I wouldn’t take it personally at all.

Cout yourself lucky that your close friends and family are so supportive.

Post # 15
295 posts
Helper bee

I think honesty is the best policy and reach out to them and ask.

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