Post # 17
WOW!!! Thanks for ALL OF THIS FEEDBACK!!! You ladies are awesome!
Here’s the deal:
The dress (the BMs and MOHs are ALL wearing the same dress) has already been picked out. The ladies (right now anyway) are all under the “we will wear whatever you tell us to” umbrella. 🙂 I made sure that I selected a dress that would compliment all of their figures as their sizes range. We are using silk flowers which my matron of honor and myself will be arranging into bouquets and boutonnieres. Their gifts? No major biggie…as I will be making EVERYTHING myself by hand including personalized hangers. It sounds like a lot, I know, but we will get it done. All of these people (believe it or not) are the CLOSEST to us. And yes…I’ve already asked all of them…and they’ve ALL said yes.
My matron is my best friend of 25 years (mind you, I’m 27), one of my maids is my other best friend and brother’s girlfriend, and the other two are my sisters.
The bridemaids? All friends of over 10 yrs or more…and one is my baby sister.
The best men? My FH’s two brothers…and two of MY brothers (HE wanted it that way). The groomsmen? My brothers, a childhood friend of my FH, and a cousin who has been there for me for FOREVER!
So you see, it’s not so easy just to pick a few! Lol! I did find out that my parents (both sets: my mom, step-dad, dad, and step-mom) are pitching in to help offset some of my costs. My matron offered to pay for ALL of my flowers…but I’m not letting her.
To make things even MORE complicated, I will be escorted down the aisle by BOTH my dad and step-dad… 🙂
I decided the day my FH proposed that I didn’t want to have the usual, traditional wedding. We are incorporating things that aren’t the norm…but I wanted to get the Bees opinions on the subject matter. 🙂
Post # 18
its your special day so i say go for it!!!
Post # 19
It’s YOUR WEDDING so go for it if you think you can handle it. If it fits in your budget to have all of them (remembering flowers, gifts etc) then go for it! Who ever you want to honor you should be able to!
I was worried about mind getting too big so the people “on the edge” I simply made Ushers. That way they are recognized without being in the official wedding party and making it unmanageable for me.
Post # 20
I say it’s go for too!
I am going to be 35!! when I get married next June. I am also the eldest of four , all who have kids and are married. My fiance also has three siblings. We want both families included. I am having a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor (best friend from college and best friend since kindegarten) then my 2 sisters, his sister, and another one of my good friends. He will have 6 on his side (two brothers (one of which is his best man), my brother & three good friends from college). We then have our neices (3 as flower girls) and nephews (2 as ring b.)
Yes it’s a big party, but could not imagine excluding one of these people from our day. After many years of dreaming of this day, and finally meeting the love of my life I would not have it any other way.
It’s your day to enjoy and make it your own 🙂
Post # 22
I think crazy large parties tend to be the hallmark of younger brides. While not all do it, I’ve noticed a trend to smaller, more intimate wedding parties as people get married 30+. The most recent wedding I attended there was only a best man and a maid of honor.
If you’ve already invited them, I wouldn’t back out now, but yes, I think that’s waaaay too many, evoking images from 27 Dresses. Think of it this way – you are asking 11% of the wedding guests (27/250) to stand up with you (14% when you add in 3 dads, 2 moms, bridal couple). Who is going to be left sitting in the chairs?
If I were asked to be in your party, I would not feel special. (I also would say to cut it down to ONE, or at most two, MOH/Best Man. That likely might mean your best friend of 25 years. I was not Maid/Matron of Honor at my sister’s wedding, just a bridesmaid, and I was ok with that.)
Post # 23
yeah, I think you’ve given a good explanation for all of them, and like PP’s have said, “it’s your wedding!” but…in all honesty, if I were at your wedding, I would be thinking, “10 girls? how can she actually be ‘close friends’ with that many people!?” Yeah, it kind of evokes images of girls right out of high school who are asking all their BFF’s to be in their wedding party, who haven’t realized yet that Real Life happens and you won’t always have a million friends. But anyhow, if you’re really close to all of them, then awesome! 🙂
Post # 24
I think its easier said than done to have that many in your bridal party. I know many brides chasing 4 bridesmaids in a party of 6 to get them to order their dresses. How will you feel when you are chasing 10 girls to get them to order their dresses? I have probably an equal number of people I’d like to include in my bridal party – best friends from growing up, college roommates, lots of very close cousins that are like siblings, friends from grad school and adulthood, but I know realistically its just not an option. The people around you will understand that you just can not include everyone. And i agree that being in a bridal party loses its specialness when it seems like half of your wedding guests are in the bridal party. That being said, you have already asked these people and seem to have it under control. You must believe for some reason its a too large wedding party or you wouldn’t have asked, but there isn’t much you can do about it now.
Post # 25
I would be going crazy, and kudos to you for having the patience to do this. I am having a Maid/Matron of Honor and noone else. Fiance is having a best man and no grooms men, but our wedding will be less than 30 people. Sounds like you are having a ton of guests, a big family to include, and lots of friends. Since you have such a big family, it is great that you are trying to give everyone a part. I say go for it – you are having a lot of guests, so I think you can pull off a big bridal party.
Post # 26
I can TOTALLY understand the viewpoint of each one of you! 🙂
The only reason why I thought it was too many is because of the fact that I see many other brides in the online wedding world with 1 or 2 BMs tops. Where I’m from (the country of Virginia), it’s not uncommon to see a large wedding party (the last wedding I was in, there were 12 ADULT ladies which included 5 maids of honor; there were 2 Jr BMs and 4 flower girls that didn’t even throw flowers). My matron told me today about her aunt who had 20 BMs (not including any Jrs) in her wedding about 5 years ago (this lady has three grown children).
I’m starting to feel like this: I’ve asked them; they are either going to fulfill the spot or not. 🙂 I will NOT be replacing anyone should any of them be unable to order their dresses or tuxes when the time comes; their spot will remain empty and therefore be a reduction to the wedding party count. If they don’t want to cooperate, that will be solely their decision. I will refrain from going Bridezilla on ANYONE…I will not chase them or try to convince them to do anything they don’t want to do. 🙂
Post # 27
I’ve never been fan of large wedding parties. For my own, no more than 3 on my side (MOH, 2BM) My FH only wants his brother, but may add 2Groomsmen. And posssibly a ring bearer. To me thats more than enough. But this is you wedding, so do you.
Post # 28
I have 4 maid of honors, 3 bridesmaids, a flower girl and eight guys as well. It may seem like alot but all of the pictures I have seen by my photographer had about the same amount.
Post # 29
It’s your wedding hun, do what makes YOU happy.
I, too, am being criticized for the size of my bridal party by EVERYONE, including my parents and our Catholic priest LOL. But, they all say it’s my final choice. And, they all say that they won’t ALL end up there that day (someone will back out, if not a few people).
Right now, we have 1 Maid/Matron of Honor, 7 Bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids and 3 flower girls on the female side. On the male side, 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man, 7 groomsmen, 1 junior groomsman and a ring bearer. Including the bride and groom, we have 25 people.