(Closed) Is not including an response card considered "cheap"?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Not including a response card along with the invitation: fine or looks stingy?
    It's fine, people will email their response. : (81 votes)
    57 %
    It looks cheap and not classy. : (62 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I say it’s totally fine. We set up a website for RSVP and didn’t use cards. Who sends mail these days anywhere? 

    Post # 4
    517 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think its totally fine, I will be doing phonecalls and rsvping via wedding website.

    Post # 6
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If you expect an RSVP, a RSVP card is expected. I would totally RSVP to a wedding via email (In fact, I have done this) but Grandma might not feel the same way. I’d say in another 20 years this would probably be fine, but right now we still have a lot of people among us that don’t use the internet.

    If you are more concerned about it being eco-friendly, print them on recycled paper (maybe even notecard style so you don’t need an envelope) and recycle it when you recieve them.

    Post # 7
    3947 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would expect a lot more people to not RSVP at all this way.   It might be a lot more grief than what it’s worth.

    Post # 8
    23602 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m biased because we totally didn’t do response cards – but I thought it worked out brilliantly well, and we didn’t have to worry about extra postage, or them getting lost in the mail, or people not sending them back.  We did all RSVPs online and it was perfect! Plus, then we got everyone’s email addresses and were able to communicate wedding day logistics with them in the final week before our wedding day. 🙂

    Post # 9
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    You have to have a response card.  What about the people without email?  Yes, they exist- my dad is only 50 and I know many people his age including him that do not have email.  I guess I would see it as rude…


    Post # 10
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think it’s a great idea! Easy way to cut costs, be more environmentally friendly, etc. I would suggest also including a phone number for those who don’t have email or don’t like using email (although my 80 year old grandparents have email, so I think they are few and far betwee these days)


    Post # 11
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We did rsvps on our website. I knew all of our guests are tech savvy, so it wasn’t a problem. We only had 2 families come that didn’t use the site (they told my parents they were coming), which was a much better record than my sister’s wedding, where she had rsvp cards.

    Post # 12
    901 posts
    Busy bee

    I think it’s totally fine not to include response cards, but I’d think it was a less formal occasion.

    Post # 13
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I say it’s fine.   We did rsvps through our wedding website and it turned out awesome.  


    Post # 14
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would just make sure your RSVP email address is easy to spell so there are few errors when people type in the address wrong.

    Post # 15
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    You can forego response cards, but I imagine you’ll end up having to spend a lot more time chasing down non-responders. Look how many people don’t RSVP when they get a response card and a pre-stamped envelope. Now if you make it more work for them to RSVP, a lot of people may not do it.

    Post # 16
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Well, Emily Post notes that it’s perfectly acceptable to request your RSVPs through email or telephone, so that’s good enough for me. For those who say some people don’t have email, I’m certain they are familiar with use of the telephone (and my 84 year old grandmother uses email, so age is certainly not an indicator of someone’s likelihood or ability to respond on the internet).

    ETA – And Miss Manners insists that responses cards “were never correct.” So, you’ll be in good company.

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