(Closed) Is not including an response card considered "cheap"?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Not including a response card along with the invitation: fine or looks stingy?
    It's fine, people will email their response. : (81 votes)
    57 %
    It looks cheap and not classy. : (62 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We used a website, almost everyone has RSVPd and there’s still 6 days to the deadline. I’m big on not killing trees, it had nothing to do with postage or cost. It was bad enough to have to send paper invites lol. Sure, recycling is great but it’s even better not to use it in the first place. One family apparently doesn’t have Internet, his uncles. His mom called them, asked them what they wanted to eat and RSVPd for them.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1081 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @lealorali:  

    I think it is fine! Maybe include a short note about trying to be eco-friendly. You can make the invitations themselves look classy and formal to make up for it.

    Post # 34
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I’ve never seen a response card in my life. It wouldn’t even have occurred to me that they exist until I read this thread. I’ve always just called or emailed using the details on the invites. I mean… why on earth would you ever use snail mail these days? What a waste of time and money…

    Post # 35
    Member
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Rachel631:  Really?  You’ve never received an invitation with a response card?  I find that VERY hard to believe.  That’s the most common way to ask for responses.  As for why to use snail mail – that’s because formal invitations use the mail.  

    Post # 36
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We had a smaller wedding (75 people) and we only gave an email/phone RSVP option.  If you include a phone option, that will cover the folks without internet or email.  I think it is much more common these days to see no RSVP card, so I think you would be just fine! Cute email idea.

    Post # 38
    Member
    13837 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t think it looks cheap, but it’s not something I would do.  I honestly have forgotten to reply via email, because I don’t have the reminder of the card to check and envelope to mail.  When I see the invitation on my counter, I’m not at my computer to respond, and, frankly, absent-mindedly forget. 

    If you know your guests well, though, this could be fine!  You can follow up with non-responders and make sure everyone gets their responses in, and it’s probably easier to do via email than phone, anyway. 

    I don’t think it’s cheap; I think it’s not traditional, and that may be there your Maid/Matron of Honor is getting hung-up.  Non-traditional aspects are definitely more popular these days, so go for it if it’s what you want to do!

    Post # 39
    Member
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We’re doing RSVP via our wedding website, however, our wedding is a bit more casual.  I personally hate losing RSVP cards (which I always do), plus all of our guests are pretty computer savy (all of our older guests are teachers/professors).

    Post # 40
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We did RSVP info card and guests can RSVP either by email, text or a phobe call…I assume in today’s society most people know how to at least use a phone.  It wouold have been a complete and utter WASTE for me to have people mail back cards.  First of all, the mail system here sorta sucks and almost no one uses it. Second, fi’s family NEVER rsvp’s.  I am not going to waste money like that on them sorry.  Either way, I will still have to hunt them down.  If I am being cheap, oh well.  But that is the norm around here.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1479 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think you need a third option- It Depends

     

    For your style of wedding, I think email is totally fine. However, I think it is courteous to include a response card for the generation who are not as computer friendly (Grandmas, etc) and whom may feel more comfortable with a traditional response card. That way, you can be as eco-friendly/money-saving as you want and still not ruffle any feathers. If you were having a more formal wedding, I think it would dictate a formal response card in each and every invitation.

    I still get a little miffed when I see email responses instead of response cards, but I’m slowly getting over it, as this seems to be more and more popular. 🙂

    Post # 44
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We are including rsvp cards but we letting people rsvp online. I think the younger crowd likes that better. I don’t think it’s cheap, and I know other people who done non traditional invites to be eco friendly. You can also used recycled paper.

    Post # 45
    Member
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    In my friends’ experiences, people are way more likely to remember to send a card back to RSVP than to remember to email someone their response.

    Post # 46
    Member
    11744 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It’s not my style, but I’d recommend setting the RSVP up through a wedding website. A few people I know have done this.  I think you’ll get a better response rate that way. People tend to ignore RSVPs in my experience, especially if it requires you to *gasp* call someone.

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