Post # 1
I didn’t realize that my friend’s birthday party which is in a few days had a black and white “dress to impress” dress code. She specified dresses for the women and I literally have no black dress and out of the two white dresses I have, one doesn’t fit anymore and the other one was my wedding dress >.<
I have an off-white/really light cream colored dress though. I’m not really good with colors and neither is H and I don’t really have the time or money to buy a new dress as I’m moving into a new home this week, will be busy, and almost all of my money is tied up in that right now. Said friend is really anal so I’m afraid if I ask her, she might be pushy and try to tell me to get a new dress…I’m already spending at least $100 to attend the party and haven’t even gotten her a gift yet. I don’t share a size with any of my friends any more otherwise I’d ask.
I do have black and black and white skirts, but she specified dresses and I wonder if that deviation would even be a big deal or if a skirt (it’s a slightly past the knees circle skirt) is even appropriate. The party is at a semi-fancyish restaurant. I’d be wearing heels.
Post # 3
Don’t go. That’s doing too much.
Post # 4
If the party is at night, it will likely be dimly lit and the offwhite will look white.
I’ve had a friend do this. It’s so she can wear a bright color (like red) and stick out against the crowd. Off white is fine!
Post # 5
I think the offwhite dress is fine. I also think the black skirt and a black or white blouse is fine. As a friend, I would not expect you to go buy a new dress just to attend my party.
Post # 6
Also, if she drops you as a friend for wearing an off-white dress…then you’re better off.
Post # 7
@tmsing: I say that’s fine…Not sure where you’re from but I think stark white looks strange once the weather starts being cooler. Winter-white is probably most appropriate!
Post # 8
I think its fine. What is she going to do, kick you out?
Post # 9
Yeesh… I’d just skip the damn thing. Not like you’re visiting Buckingham Palace or something. Why the annoying dress code??
Post # 10
I would probably opt for a black skirt and black top if I were you. If she “defriends” you over not wearing a dress, she wasn’t much of a friend in the first place. But if you’re sure she’ll give you a hard time over what you’re wearing, don’t go at all. No real friend would do that.
One of my “friends” (and I use the term loosely) once threw a birthday party for herself and had a “wear white but black is okay if you must, and dress to impress” dress code. Her husband was the only one who wore all white, everyone else showed up in black jeans and black tops because the weather was horrid. White in February? I don’t think so! lol
Post # 11
I think you could wear off white, or wear either the white of black skirt. If you add a blouse or sweater, and she complains it’s not a dress , she is not worth the effort.
Post # 12
@peachacid: I already RSVP’ed. I was on the fence for a few reasons but I made my decision. She was a Bridesmaid or Best Man and I’ve known her almost 20 years. That said, she does put too much stock in details.
@canarydiamond: I have no idea. There’s not even gonna be 20 of us there. Funny thing is this past year all of my friends have been having fancy birthdays. Mine was just a burgers and beer thing at home and it just makes me feel like I’m not doing the adult thing right.
@julies1949: I really hope she doesn’t say anything because I don’t think I would have the patience for that, I just don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. I think I’ll just go with a black skirt, top, and sweater and burgundy accents.
Post # 13
@tmsing: Do you have black shoes etc? It’s clear she wants black and white. Leaving aside the debate on whether specifying the color is appropriate (themed parties do exist), if you are going to go to the trouble of wearing black, why bring in the burgundy? It might come across as “flaunting the rules” or attention seeking.
Post # 14
I think the off white dress is the best option. It sticks to the dress rule, and depending on the lighting no one may even notice. And if she does happen to bring it up (which I think is rude, since you tried very hard to fit this theme) then just say “Oh, I thought this dress was white? It looked white at home, maybe our lighting is different.”
Really some people are more color sensative than others, and there are like 100 shades of white. It’s totally possible that one person would consider a color winter white or eggshell and someone else would see it as off-white.
Post # 15
@julies1949: I don’t have black heels, that does seem like an obvious staple I should have in my closet though. I have black flats but then that might be too casual? I feel like a shoe monster ate half my shoes because I can’t find anything these days.
@Kit_Kath: I am really not good with colors, I used to get teased in high school for thinking dark blue and black matched >.< oops.