(Closed) Is only one of you religious in your relationship?

posted 11 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
1356 posts
Bumble bee

Luckily we are of the same religion. It has certainly helped through all of this! I can’t imagine trying to do it any other way.

Post # 4
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m a Catholic while my Fiance is currently not practicing. As for wedding-related matters, he’s happy to comply with the rules and regulation that comes with a catholic wedding; so no problem there. But I always attend mass without him. Oh well.

Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

I’m Presbyterian and Mr Frenchie is Catholic… however when we met I was very involved in my church and he hadn’t been in years. It helped that he was very supportive of my involvement and would come with me to youth group (when I lead) and church on Sundays. I think if he had been anti or completely un involved it would have been a problem, but obviously it wasn’t 🙂

Post # 6
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My fiance is definitely more religious than I am.  I really tried to participate and pushed to find a church we were both comfortable in but when that didn’t really go anywhere I gave up on it.  Honestly, I’m starting to think I’m a "bad" influence on him.  🙂  When kids are part of the picture we’ll probably try to find something, but until then it’s not on the front of our minds. 

Post # 7
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

He is more religious than I am, but I’m working on it….I had to be careful how I phrased how we had religious sayings in our ceremony. Some of it I didn’t agree with and/or rubbed me the wrong way.

I had the part dictating that marriage is for a man and a woman only removed from our ceremony because I said I simply don’t agree. Which he was perfectly ok with. I wanted our ceremony to reflect US. We dont fight about it, but I know it’s frustrating that i’m so "far behind" him in regards to how I feel about it. I’m more liberal and he’s more conservative so we’ve had difficulties finding an accepting church to my liking whereas he is Baptist, which as we all know is really conservative! 

Post # 8
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Fiance and i are both same religion and i couldn’t imagine it being otherwise. out of the 2 i’m probably "more religious" in that i value going to mass every week where he could go every other month.

Post # 9
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Fiance and I are of 2 different religions, (Catholic and Jewish), and we’re equally not religious.  It works out really great.  We both like the cultural aspects of our religions and participate in the other person’s as well but neither one of us goes to church/temple or really follows the more organized religious aspect of the religions.  I honestly think it’s more important that both people are equally committed or not committed religion rather thab being of the same religion.  Before Fiance I dated a guy who was the same religion as me but MUCH more religion and it just drove me crazy and I knew it would never work out because of that.

Post # 10
42 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

My Fiance grew up in a family that attended church regularly and participated in different church activities.  Religion was never a regular thing for my family.  As we started planning he had expressed his want to have a religious ceremony.  I wasn’t completely comfortable with that so we met in the middle.  We are not getting married in a church but will be married by a pastor from his church.  We are each bending a little bit here and there as we plan our ceremony so that the ceremony will be something meaningful for the both of us.

Post # 11
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

I am not religous. At all. But I am interested in hearing and learning about other religions. That being said, I’m not sure I could’ve been with someone who was uber religious. If they were religious and open minded about it, I could deal with that. I just can’t deal with someone trying to convert or preach to me. Luckily Mr. Sushi pretty much has the same ideas, view, beliefs that I do.

Post # 12
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We come from different religious backgrounds-I was raised Catholic, he was raised Presbyterian. We’ve gone to his parents church a few times but neither of us feels comfortable there. We keep saying we are going to go to the local Catholic service but we haven’t yet. We both want to be able to find a church where we are both comfortable and where we can take our future children, but we just haven’t found that place yet.

I am very glad though that we are both on the same page.

Post # 13
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My fiance is pretty religious (Catholic). He goes to church every Sunday when we’re at home and definitely felt strongly about having a Catholic ceremony. He is pretty private about his faith though, he quietly goes to church on Sunday mornings, he prays before he goes to bed at night, but he never talks with me about it unless I bring it up out of curiosity. Perfect balance in my opinion. I, on the other hand, have never been baptised/christened and have never gone to church. I guess I am the epitome of non-religious.

It was a pretty easy decision for me to just do what was important for him. I am non-religious, but I don’t NEED to have a non-religious wedding. Its not all that important to me how we get married, just that we get married. We have had to do a lot of steps for this catholic wedding, which I completely understand since I am not even Christian. But it makes him happy to have his wedding "in front of God," as he puts it., and if he’s happy then I’m happy ^__^

And I have to say, the Catholic church (we are working with two separate diocese) has been VERY accomodating to us. Very understanding of our relationship and his faith, and my lack there-of. They are very respectful and I am impressed!

Post # 14
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My fiance husband and I are both Catholic.  I am more religious than he is, and I have never pushed him to attend or become more involved.  We had a Catholic ceremony and had to take marriage prep courses which I think helped him a little bit.  We have gone to a few more masses since then.  I really wish that he would want to be more involved but I don’t ever want to push him into it, it’s totally a decision he should make. 

Post # 15
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

He grew up in a very religious (Episcopalian) family.  I was shocked the first time I went to stay with them and they held hands and prayed before every meal.  Growing up in a completely nonreligious household, I had never seen anything like that before in my life!

He attends church time to time, more for the social aspect than the spiritual one.  I’ve gone a few times with him, but church just isn’t for me.  I even went to faith-based counseling with him once.  The priest was very nice, but when he started saying that religion leads to morals, he lost me.  You don’t need religion to have morals.  I’m interested in premarital counseling, but I don’t want to talk about sex issues with a priest!

I’m a little nervous about our ceremony because I’d like it to be "Jesus-free."  I don’t believe in Jesus and I don’t want to say things I won’t mean while we’re getting married.  His family is paying for most of our wedding, however, and I don’t want to disappoint them.  I guess we’ll pick a couple good Bible quotes that don’t sound too "Christian-y," along with secular readings.  We don’t even have an officiant yet because this is a minor issue!   

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