(Closed) Is our after party a bad idea?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think if you guys want an afterparty, you should have an afterparty. You can’t please everyone! Might as well please your Fiance instead of a bunch of judgemental relatives.

I understand the religious no dancing/drinking.. some of my family is that way.. and I am having an evening reception with dancing/drinking. If they are offended they can leave, or in your case, not come!


Post # 4
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

it seems your mom is fine with it so why not stick with the plan? i think it’s very reasonable and thoughtful of you to offer that alternative. it’s a great balance. i say if they gossip, so what. your mom’s on your side so if anyone says anything, she can take the lead on that. considering that your immediate family is pretty lax as is, your mom is probably already well-versed in how to best handle the judgey-mcjudgers. 🙂

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

familes are judgmental and gossipy anyway so i say go ahead and just dont discuss the details of the drinking/dancing party with those that are offended by it

enjoy – its a day to celebrate!

Post # 6
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I agree with eloping.  What you have planned sounds perfectly reasonable, and lots of fun.  I say go for it.

Post # 7
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

we are also planning a simple brunch/coctail reception earlier in the day then heading home to have our after party ..my mom will probably have a full speech to talk me out fo it but my response will be “my wedding, my plans”

Post # 8
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

The one thing I’ve learned from planning this wedding: stop getting opinions from the peanut gallery. I always cared what people thought and I realize that I really cannot please everyone or even come close and I am now okay with that.

“Living your values” is an awesome thing. Live you and your FI’s values and not everyone elses.

“To each his own” as far as your extended family is concerned. Your plan sounds great! It’s your first step towards carving your independence and living the life you and your Fiance will create.


Good luck!

Post # 9
4485 posts
Honey bee

It’s your fiance’s day too so if he wants the dancing, etc then have it. Both of you should be happy and not regret anything on your wedding day, while also taking your guests’ comfort into consideration. If your relatives are so upset that the afterparty offends them, they don’t have to attend. It’s not part of the actual reception so it seems strange to be that upset by it. But if that’s how they choose to act, that’s on them. You and your fiance are doing your best to accomodate everyone and make them feel as welcome as possible, but it seems that some people are overreacting just a bit (to say the least) so you are not in the wrong. They have no business forcing their beliefs on you and punishing you for it because you won’t go along. No matter what you do, someone will be offended, even if it isn’t anything to be offended about, but you can’t bend over backwards to please every single person without sacrificing your own happiness, and you’ll go crazy and have your own regrets if you try.

Post # 10
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Go ahead and do it. Seriously. I think it will be something you regret not doing if you don’t, and something Fiance will be sad about and lets face it… sometimes the things that FIs care about might be the ONLY input they have in the wedding. Have fun, be merry, and rock the dance floor with people who love you and support you!

Post # 11
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Do it. You want it, your Fiance wants it, you can’t just avoid doing things in life b/c you are afraid your very conservative families will frown upon it. There will be a lot of things they will frown upon in your life. They just have to realize (you too) that their feelings about it doesn’t get to dictate how you two live your lives in your OWN good conscience. Have fun! Shoot, they should be grateful you are appeasing them by already having a dry/no dancing wedding and brunch, cuz if i were you, I’d have the full out shebang and tell them to get over it =]. So i think you’re already being awesome!

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