(Closed) Is our friendship over?? MOH drama :-(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Honestly, I would have done exactly what you did. I think you’ve been very reasonable with this whole situation. You have your own wedding planning and to have her wedding come in within 5 days and NOT have your Fiance be invited, that’s just rude.

It sounds to me like she’s being selfish and if she’s going to act this way, then consider it her loss. Maybe she’ll come around, maybe she won’t, but I don’t think you should feel bad.

 

Post # 4
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Let it rest for a little while.  She just got married and you should give her some space to be ecstatic about that.  You’re not going was probably a bigger deal to you than it was to her.  Was there an underlying cause to their extremely short engagement and then nuptials?  Maybe she’s dealing with bigger fish to fry right now.

Post # 5
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honey, I’m sure you know as well as I do about how much we tell brides that it’s THEIR day and not their friends.  We do this all day every day. 

I do agree that you totally gave a perfect consession of not eating and maybe she has another reason, that she wanted this to be truly intimate with the people that she LOVES and maybe she just likes your FH.  I don’t think it’s a friendship ender, I don’t.  I thnk you need to breathe and realizes how much damn change she’s gone through in the last week and just try to be understanding.  I would wait and let her contact you, and then just let her talk.  I think she does also have a right to be sad.  SAD, not pissed.  And I think you also have a right to say ‘I would totally understand but I just didn’t feel comfortable not attending with my FH, even when we offered to not eat.  I mean, you’re in our WEDDING, you know how serious this person is to me.  Can you explain why you didn’t want him there?’ and be okay with her answer if it’s legit.

That still sucks though and I am really sorry you’re going through this.  🙁

Post # 6
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just gonna throw this out there…if they were only engaged for two weeks, then maybe they honestly decided to have it that week and told you as soon as they could…people do that all of the time. That doesn’t seem so bad to me, maybe I’m missing something but it doesn’t sound like some elaborate affair they’d planned for months…it sounds pretty last minute.

I’m sorry you’re hurt, but I think you need to step back for a second and consider what @WillyNilly:  said. It IS her wedding, and her decision about who she wants to invite. It sounds like a very intimate affair and maybe she just doesn’t feel that closeness with your Fiance. She does have the right to feel that way. You don’t have to like it, but honestly…I would have gone anyway. If she is really your BFF you should have been there. If you’re this hurt over her not inviting you until the last minute, think about how hurt she probably feels that you didn’t go.

Also, of course she didn’t call you back the night of her wedding. Come on now.

Post # 8
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I completely understand why you feel upset about her excluding your Fiance and then not returning your calls. A few things —

First, I don’t understand why you’re hurt she only gave you five days notice – it doesn’t sound like anyone else had much more notice, including the bride and groom!

Second, I agree with PP about it not being a friendship ender. It was really crappy of her to do that, I completely agree. But give it some space, and hopefully you two can figure out what was really going on.

Post # 9
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LonelyBride2012:  Well then…?  It’s not a friendship ender.  And think about HOW FRICKING CRAZY everything was.  Can you imagine being her, planning a wedding in 5 days and suddenly your Boyfriend or Best Friend isn’t coming?  Awwwww.  You’re not totally in the wrong, I think you might have just asked The Bee a little late, that’s all.  Everything will work out.  🙂

Post # 10
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

So there are two separate issues here. First is the timing and I really don’t think you should be upset about this. It sounds like things went really fast and they invited you as soon as possible, that just happened to be 5 days notice.

Second is the whole not inviting your fiance which I don’t agree with. I can understand your not going since he couldn’t come. That being said. It is now done. I would not have told a best friend she couldn’t bring a fiance. And I wouldn’t have missed my best friend’s wedding because I couldn’t bring my fiance. But that’s what you guys did and both those things are okay. Now you and she just need to get over it. And it sounds like you’re being supportive of the big party they’re going to have in a year, which is a great thing. But give her some time and space. I think she’ll come around. You just need to be there and have forgiven her any hard feelings when she comes around.

Post # 11
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I had the same thing happen to me (I was your Fiance in the situation). My FI’s best firend got married, invited me and Fiance, and then disinvited me over space issues. It was a big blow and my Fiance was SUPER mad (just as you are now). But we all got over it. I realize now that it isn’t because our friend didn’t love or like me, it was because he was in a jam and he knew that our friendship was bigger than that.

I hope yours has the same happy ending.

Post # 12
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ohmybears48:  “he knew that our friendship was bigger than that.”  EXACTLY.

Post # 13
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hmmm..  a sticky situation! I’ve been putting myself in all the “shoes” and no matter where I stand, I don’t think it’s cool to invite someone without their Fiance. Especially when the inviter is not only invited to that couples wedding, but it a MoH.  

Also, I don’t know this MoH of course, but I can’t help but wonder, if you invited her, but didn’t invite her Fiance, would she have been ok with it? Something tells me not. ~_~

At the end of the day, I sure hope you can salvage your friendship, but if you can’t, then maybe the friendship was not as solid to begin with! And maybe they reason she got married in a whirl wind was because she’s been feeling jelous helping you plan yours? Or maybe she’s preggo? who knows! Give her some time, and hopefully when she finally starts talking to you, guy guys will be alright.

The topic ‘Is our friendship over?? MOH drama :-(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors