(Closed) Is post wedding sadness a thing?!

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 18
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am suffering from post wedding blues, too. ๐Ÿ™ I never knew how much I enjoyed all of the planning until it was over with. I really miss making phone calls, deciding colors, DIYing, hours on pinterest now when I come home from work. I think it hit especially when the final thank you card was stamped and mailed.  Sigh… 

Post # 20
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

cls9q:  

How about spending the time redecorating your home and making it a love nest? 

You could also plan getaways with your husband. 

Post # 21
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I just had my wedding in October and I fell into a deep depression/anxiety after it. Then again, it was a very stressful process/things going on (not all wedding related) while planning so a lot came from that I’m sure. Honestly, I’m still going to therapy, it was that bad. 

Most women do not go through what I went through (or if they do, they don’t talk about it because I felt very alone in my feelings) but thought I would share my thoughts so you know it is a real thing. It’s a huge life event, a new last name, etc. so some sadness/depression is totally normal (even if your relationship is great) but mine began to interefere with day to day. 

Post # 22
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

DCbride519:  

+1 Becoming a wife was very jarring emotionally for me. I never thought that I would get married until I met my husband, so realizing that I was a Mrs. was a bit scary. I didn’t experience severe anxiety or depression.

I am experiencing more sadness over leaving the city I have lived in for over a decade to buy a home in the country. This move represents so many transitions for me and grieving. 

Post # 23
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yes, this happened to me! My wedding was almost 4 months ago and I miss planning so much. I’ve been offering my services to my engaged friends so I can still live vicariously through their planning. It’s a little sad ๐Ÿ™

Post # 24
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

cls9q: Yes! I remember feeling so sad and borderline depressed after the wedding. I think most of the sadness stemmed from family and moving away. My husband and I were married in California and we had the most incredible time with friends and family that we aren’t able to see often. The very next morning, we drove…yes, I said DROVE from California to Nebraska for his career. Not only were we having to say goodbye to friends and family we wouldn’t see for a while, but we were moving to a place where we had ZERO friends and family. Thankfully, my father and his side of the family lived a few hours (neighboring state) away so we were able to visit them a few times which helped. Still, the wedding blues are very real!

Post # 25
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m scared of that feeling, especially because a dream job of mine would be event planning!  <br /><br />I got post engagement blues even. That sounds funny, but we planned this vacation for 2 years, and near the end of it, I had a feeling he was going to propose on the vacation (which he did), so after it was over, I felt so sad.  <br /><br />I just love the idea of looking forward to something specific, so that’s how I try and get over what I’m feeling blue about.  There’s always going to be another vacation or milestone to look forward to.

Post # 26
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

cls9q:  The night we got married, I was so tired from the whole day and really emotional at how much had just changed, that I literally sat crying in the Wendy’s parking lot once we stopped for the night (we left immediately for our honeymoon). Poor Darling Husband didn’t know how to handle it. He thought I was regretting marrying him, which of course I wasn’t. I still feel really sad when I think about how fast the whole day seemed to go by. I also regret feeling like I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I had wanted it to be over because my feet were killing me all day like they never have before, and also I was really excited to just be married finally. I also regret things I wish I had done decor-wise, etc. I’ve been married two months already, and I occasionally get pangs of sadness about some things. But I’m a perfectionist, so that might have a lot to do with it. The worst of it will pass though, so don’t worry about it too much. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 27
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

DCbride519:  Hi, I think maybe you should read Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives. While you mentioned non-marriage-related issues, some of what you said reminds me of comments made by the women interviewed for that book. It might help you better understand your feelings or at least, see that other women have felt some of the same things. Also good luck with therapy. Good for you for getting help.

Post # 28
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

Yes! This happened to me. I got married in August and I’ve been through phases….Post weddint depression first, then the relaxation and free time felt awesome. Then I got bored. Then I started browwing Pinterest and the new 2015 wedding dress collections and wondered what I would do differently lol. Now I am looking forward to planning some events for next year (thank god I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding next summer haha!). I think after planning and being in wedding mode for months on end, there is this empty feeling when it is all over and you have nothing to fill that time! Hubby got me jewellery making classes as I have always been interested so that will keep me busy ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 29
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Honestly, I don’t think it’s an uncommon thing but I’m sure everyone experiences it a little differently. I was married in August and could not be happier with my husband and the plans we have for our future. The ring, dress, decor, venue, food, photographer, almost everything was perfect.  However I became a little depressed after the wedding, but I’m not sure if that’s the right word for it. Maybe more like post wedding anxiety. I look back and miss the planning a lot but I also notice the small details I wish I could fix. (I’m a huge perfectionist) Mainly my hair and make up were a disaster in my mind, even though everyone who knows this disagrees with me. I’m actually embarrassed about it and I wish I could fix that. My make up artist used eyelash glue that she hadn’t tested on me prior and I had an allergic reaction. So I had puffy eyes that she covered up with a lot of dark make up. My hair also turned out nothing like the run through. I couldn’t say anything, or not pay, because she’s my cousin’s wife. I didn’t want family tension later on, so I didn’t say anything. It really ruined how I felt and I wish I could change that. It was like I had gone through all this work to have this fantastic day and I was robbed of that “confident bride” feeling. Instead I felt insecure the whole time. I should have done my own make up but hindsight’s 20/20 I guess. 

Seeing other women getting engaged right now is so exciting but also reminds me of the things I wish had gone differently. I’m sure it will pass. I’d assume everyone has some detail they wish they could change about their day. When I’m totally honest with myself, planning was fun but horribly exhausting and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it anymore. lol. At least it seems like you had a great experience so you should be happy about that. Not everyone is quite as lucky.

Post # 30
Member
6526 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

cls9q:  no, a lot of brides get post wedding blues. 

Im in the minority, and didnt have them. I thought i would but didnt. Honestly, i think what really helped was having a long honeymoon, made my own wedding album, created custom thank you cards, and wedding bee. I still felt like I was doing wedding stuff for awhile after my wedding. 

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