Is Religion a Deal-Breaker?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 151
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

sqldudette :  I also had a friend that grew up in the Catholic Church. She lives in a big city now which has changed a lot of her values. When I asked her if she would baptize her kids in the Catholic Church, she said “I have no choice. My parents would kill me if I didn’t.” So I asked if she would if her family was taken out of the equation and she said “Probably not.” 

While she never had a bad experience with the church, she doesn’t identify with it anymore, yet will still be married and raise her kids in one all because her parents have pushed that expectation on her. That’s part of the problem when you don’t have open-minded parents. 

Your experience is one I don’t want my kids to have, which is why I’m against baptizing them every though it’s “harmless”. They can choose to be involved in any church at any point in their lives, but that’s their decision to make.

Post # 152
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

DrCrazyCat :  I’m pretty sure Christians are not the poor people (religion) being unfairly discriminated against in society.

Post # 153
Member
11449 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

sqldudette :  Understood. This is why the Christian denominations in which I have chosen to participate as an adult do not baptize infants. Childen can choose to be baptized when they reach an age of “accountability” (which would vary depending on the individual). My parents chose to have me baptized (sprinkled) as an infant in my father’s branch of Christianity, but I chose to be baptized by immersion (the Biblical model) in a different Christian denomination when I was 18 and in college. As far as those who share my belief system, my first baptism did not “count,” since there was no profession of faith on my part, as I was a just a baby, and someone else had made that choice for me.

Post # 154
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

mahadewi :  maybe not where you live but where I do, proclaiming yourself as Christian you definitely get labelled in a certain (almost always negative) way. But proclaiming yourself to be a different religion and it’s like ok, you do you, if you think like that, that’s your religion, we’ll let you be. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that many of our laws/ways of society were historically Christian based and now that there is a push to separate church and state, there is a lot of Christian religion-bashing going on. 

Anyways, I fully believe that society should be secular. Whether that is education, health care, or providing goods and services. Religion absolutely should not factor in. I think religious dogma has definitely caused more harm than good in the world. But if people want to raise their children in a religion, or not, in their homes, that is their choice. I was merely pointing out that it seems that when this happens within a Christian faith, it is almost seen as negative (indoctrinating children and taking away their free choice). But within a different religion, it’s acceptable. Again, maybe this has more to do with where I live as Christians are a minority. 

Post # 156
Member
11449 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

anon2bornot2b :  I absolutely loved hearing this story that your Fiance shared with you about how he was thinking of Jesus and Peter and what he experienced as a result of that.

And I also wanted to say that I think very highly of the fact that you care so deeply about what is best for your Fiance as well as what is best for yourself. Some people may argue that, if you and your Fiance truly loved each other, you would put your relationship above your beliefs. However, as my former Fiance and I experienced when we ended our engagement more than 25 years ago over an issue of faith, it is because we genuinely loved each other that we were willing to let go of each other so that we could each pursue the future that God had for each of us.

You and your Fiance both seem to be such kind, caring and loving people. I truly wish the best for you both!

Post # 157
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

mahadewi :  yeah, I’m totally not saying that. Everywhere in the world and all throughout time people are discriminated/persecuted/murdered for their religious convictions, I’m definitely not even saying that Christians have had the brunt of it. You take those figures from the US, I’m sure Christians in Saudi Arabia feel the same way, it’s all to do with geography. I’m not arguing that being a Christian means more discrimination and/or whatever discrimination they’ve experienced is worse than that of any other religion. All I’m saying is that specific to the OPs situation, society, again where I live, tend to be more outspoken about being against raising kids in a Christian house than that of another religion, even if they are anti-religion in general. That is all.

Post # 158
Member
11449 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

DrCrazyCat :  I just wanted to say that I appreciate your taking note of the discrepency that can sometimes exist when people appear to be quite tolerent of some beliefs but tend to become extremely hostile toward others. I think there are several reasons for that, one of which I believe is spiritual in nature, so I won’t go into detail involving that right now.

Another — which I believe is related to that — is that there are many faiths and/or points of view that happily embrace multiple paths, while Christianity is, by its very nature, exclusive. It is in part because of that exclusivity that some people find it offensive. What they may not realize, however, is the all-inclusive nature of the Gospel: Jesus loves, died for, and offers salvation for all mankind, even those who have hated and ridiculed Him. I think this bothers many people, because they are looking for affirmation of who they believe they are, who they want to be, and what they want to believe and do, while Biblical Christianity teaches that God’s goal for everyone who comes to Him is transformation (transformation of our ways of thinking, believing, and behaving so that we will reflect His image.) If people haven’t personally experienced the freedom and beauty that results from that process, I imagine it could sound quite off-putting and as well as scary.

Finally, I believe part of the problem rests with the way some Christians present their beliefs to others. Some people are so focused on declaring God’s Truth that they completely forget to show His love in the way that they do it. Others try so hard to be what they believe is loving but, in their attempts, they have completely abandoned whole sections of God’s Truth. I believe the Bible teaches that Christianity is the perfect balance of Love and Truth, because love, without truth, isn’t love at all. And truth without love is alienating.

Post # 159
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

It’s actually fairly dogmatic to insist that children must be exposed to all religions, many (not just Christianity) of which insist that their way is the only way. Just like it’s fairly dogmatic and objective to insist there is no one truth (insisting that the one truth is that you can’t know the truth…logic that’s not even internally consistent)

Post # 161
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

Some of the comments in this thread are unbelievable 

Post # 163
Member
11 posts
Newbee

This would be a deal breaker for me. 

Post # 164
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here!

First of all, a major pillar of almost any religion (Judaism, Islam, Chrisitianity) is that you’re supposed to believe your religion is the one “true” faith. That’s kind of the whole point. Catholics profess in a prayer that is said at Mass every week “I believe in one Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, I confess one Baptism for the forgiveness of sins…etc”. If you consider yourself a Catholic, then yes, you are expected to believe that this faith is the true faith, as in many other religions.

My Fiance and I are both Catholic, always have been, and have always attended Mass together, even though we do not have children yet. 

WITH THAT SAID, I agree with you that I want our children to have very open minds about religion, to be understanding, to understand the fact that it’s not their place to judge other people no matter what. As a Catholic, I’m supposed to raise my children in the faith. If they chose to walk away from that? That’s their choice! And I will love them unconditionally! God gave people free will for a reason. It’s not my place to force anything that feels unnatural or disingenuous on them. 

 

To me, I think there is definitely a way to compromise on this. Especially because you seem very open-minded about it. I would try to have a very open and honest conversation about it and see if he can at least understand your point of view, even if he doesn’t necessarily agree with it. 

 

 

Post # 165
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

josie7 :  

The pillar of faith in Islam only includes a profession that there is one God (monotheism), and that Muhammad is (one of the many) prophets. The part that is “one true faith” may be at best, implied from acknowledging Muhammad as the last prophet. But several other pillars also require Muslims to believe in the other prophetic messengers (Adam, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, many others), and Muslims have to believe in the four scriptures (Torah, Zabur (Psalms), Injil (Gospel), Quran). 
Not trying to argue the point but to clarify some misconceptions about the world’s second largest religion.

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